Dust and Bones
by StarFeathers23
Summary: Set around episode 5x21. Castiel is in the hospital after losing his angel abilities. There he meets a young woman called Eliana, with some problems of her own. Let the adventure begin! My first ever fan-fic so reviews greatly appreciated
1. A Curious Stranger

**This is my first ever fan-fic *squeeee*  
I hope someone out there likes it, even just a little bit, and reviews (good or bad) are very appreciated (:  
This first chapter is a bit slow going, but please hang in there *I think* it gets better!**

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I always wake up crying. Even in the safety of the hospital I still get plagued with the nightmares. 21 years of age and this is what my life has turned into. Sighing I realise the dull agony has returned to my body, making me wish the nurses would give me some stronger pain medication, hell even a strong sleeping pill will do so I can have at least 4 hours sleep. I attempt to drag a hairbrush through my wayward brown curls and to take my mind off the fatigue and ache I decide to go for my daily walk around the ward.

"_Dean, wait"_

An unfamiliar voice a few doors away from mine makes me realise a new patient has been brought in (well, unless old Mrs Gorski's voice has turned deeper and decidedly more gravelly and masculine over the past day). I edged closer to the new guy's door.

"_You said no to Michael. I owe you an apology"_

Being the naturally inquisitive being that I am, I peeked around the doorway to get a glimpse of this new patient. He had dark hair, startlingly blue eyes and he was peppered with cuts and grazes. His attention seemed to be focused on his apparently important phone conversation. However what most attracted my curiosity was the air of defeat that surrounded him. Even from where I stood I could tell this man had been through hell and back lately.

"_You are not the burnt and broken shell of a man that I believed you to be."_

I crept back so I was once again hidden from his sight around the doorway. I'm not normally the type to eavesdrop, but something about this man just seemed to reach out to me in a way I couldn't explain. I felt connected to him, I wanted to comfort him. I shook my head in disbelief. I didn't even know his name!

"What is your name, girl?"

I froze. He was definitely no longer on the phone. Was he referring to me? How did he even know I was here? Apart from the few nurses occasionally walking past, I was the only one near his room. He had to be talking to me.

"I know you have been listening to my conversation. Why is that?"

Ok, most definitely talking to me. I grimaced and slowly inched back into his room. He was staring directly at me, a gaze so intense I could not look away. It compelled me to answer him. "Eliana. My... my name's Eliana... I don't know why I... I eavesdropped, I'm sorry it's rude... I'll just go now..."He slightly tilted his head to one side as I intended to make a hasty retreat back to my room, but I only had time to turn around before he spoke again.

"I did not mean to scare you Eliana. My name is Castiel."

Without realising what I was doing, I walked further into his room. "Castiel? What kinda name is that?" I was never one to be shy about what I was thinking. A frown briefly shadowed his face as confusion clouded his expression. "It is my name." He once again tilted his head, in what I guess was a habit of his, "the Angel of Thursday."

I had reached an empty chair beside his bed, so I invited myself to sit. "Angel of Thursday? Dude, your parent's could've at least picked a more interesting day... what about the angel of Saturday or something?"

Once again he frowned at me. Apparently I was an extremely confusing creature to him, "Why would my Father give me a false name? I would not want Cassiel's name."

"Cassiel?"

"The Angel of Saturday."

I sighed. This Castiel guy was obviously very into religion. I decided to change the subject, "so what you in here for?" I very quickly learned from my stay here that most fellow patients thought they had the most interesting life story around and could happily talk about themselves to strangers for hours... well, except me of course. Completely lost in my own thoughts, I did not at first register that air of despair that had once returned to Castiel at my question. Obviously he, like me, did not wish to elaborate on how he got here. I was just about to change the subject to something more to Castiel's comfort when he finally answered me. "I helped out someone important. It changed me."

Now this was the most interesting (and at the same time frustrating) response I'd ever gotten to that question. I did not want to break the reverie Castiel was in, so I let him explain further on his own account. "I should be grateful for this abysmal shadow of my former self. It could have been a lot worse for me. However, I cannot help wishing that this situation had had a different ending." He suddenly let out a wry chuckle, the closest he had come to revealing what he was really feeling behind that blank face, "I have never fully realised what selfishness was until this moment. I wonder what other emotions I shall begin to experience from now on."

His words were unbelievably confusing to me, but somehow I understood what he meant. Selfish was something my dad often called me in one of his darker moods. I looked directly at Castiel and asked, my voice almost a whisper, "what happened to you?"

Castiel's gaze once again connected with my eyes, as if he only just remembered I was there. He seemed to sigh, and I knew he would not give away any more. He obviously thought enough had been said on the subject. "I think I need to move on... I do not want to dwell on the subject, and a friend once told me that when human's want something, they lie. So... nothing of import happened."


	2. Sweet Dreams

_Suffocation. Desperation. I couldn't breathe, the flames were too hot. My dad... he was there. A presence that always haunted me. His smile. So much like his old self. The dad I wanted to remember. Then it twisted, mutated, into the evil sneer that had become familiar of his expression over the past year. Castiel. He was there too. Dressed in a tan trench coat. He was trying to reach me, say something to me, but the flames got him. I watched in terror, I was helpless. I tried to run, escape from the flames, from my dad. Then I saw two men in the distance that I didn't recognise. Only a glimpse, one was tall, with long, floppy hair. The other shorter, wearing a beat up leather jacket. Winchester. Then the flames finally caught up with me._

I awoke with a start, jolted out of my nightmare. The ward was pitch black and I had no idea what the time was. I rubbed my forehead to ease my throbbing headache and tried to piece together the fragmented images from my dream. It had started like it always started, with the flames and my dad. This wasn't anything new. I clenched my eyes shut. Remember, Eliana. I know Castiel was there... poor, burning Castiel... but why was he wearing a trench coat? I hadn't seen him in anything other than his hospital gown. There was something else, something important I needed to remember about the dream... my mind was too fuzzy and I could not think what it was. I slipped back into a dreamless sleep.

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**Sooo... what did you think?  
_Pleaseee _review, I really wanna know if I have potential or not (:  
And Sam and Dean will definately be arriving in a chapter or two! **


	3. Daddy Dearest

**I would like to say a huuge thank you to those who reviewed my first chapters, you have no idea how much they mean to me!  
And I'd also like to give a shout-out to dirtdevil76 who gave me the encouragement to post this, without her this fic might not even have been uploaded! (Go read her SPN fic - it's awesome hehe)  
Anywhoo, I tried to make this chapter a little bit longer... and I'm still not sure how often I'll update once the story gets going but I wanted to update already to hopefully keep you guys interested (:  
Enjoy! And please review? It really helps me to keep writing (: **

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One day Castiel suddenly announced, "I cannot stay here much longer. The fate of the world depends on me helping the cause." He looked earnestly at me. I rolled my eyes. He could be so dramatic sometimes.

"Yeah, sure. The world waits for no man as they say... well you can't go anywhere for a while the doc said so. Cas, he said you were lucky to even be alive!"

"The doctor knows nothing about what is wrong with me. I shall be fine. I just need to find my Father and persuade him to help. I still believe he is out there."

This was the closest we'd gotten to another heart-to-heart since our first encounter. I let out a humourless chuckle, "Yeah, well, some dads are better off absent," I muttered to myself.

"You wish your father was not around?" I hadn't realised he could hear me muttering. Damn, I should learn not to underestimate his uncanny hearing abilities.

I sighed and looked at the ground, hoping to shrug off the question with a vague answer, "let's just say he won't win any dad-of-the-year awards." I smiled grimly, hoping to show Castiel I was fine with this. I didn't do revealing and emotional speeches, but there was something in Castiel's innocent expression that made me think he was honestly interested, maybe even that he cared.

"What is the problem if you love your father?"

I glanced at Castiel in surprise. Despite what my dad had become... Castiel spoke the truth. I _did _still love him. "Maybe I don't give a damn about my dad anymore." I lied, my tone bitter.

He smiled at me, as if the whole situation was obvious to him. "If I have learnt anything about human nature, it is that family is important, this is something I can understand. Your eyes show me that you care about your father. You are worried about him." Obviously Castiel was better at reading my pathetic attempts at controlling my emotions than I thought he was.

I sighed. "I..." I broke off, unsure of what to say to Castiel. Nobody knew of my home life and I would prefer to keep it that way, but I didn't know how much longer I could bear the burden alone. I drew a shaky breath and dragged my eyes off of the floor to meet Castiel's blue gaze. "You gotta understand my dad was the _best_. He treated me like his little princess... he was my best friend in the entire world..."

"He changed." Castiel didn't phrase is as a question, he just seemed to know.

I nodded. "About a year ago. He's... not my dad anymore. I don't know who this cruel imitation of my father is, but he's not _him._ Sometimes I have these dreams, and each time I'll see my old dad, his lovely smile lighting up his face when he sees me, but then it twists into something horrible, what he has become lately. It's hard to explain... but I believe my father is in there. I just need to find him."

Something I say seems to hit a chord within Castiel. A flicker of hurt passes across his expression, then it is gone.

"I understand" is all he says.

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Over the next few days I regularly visited Castiel's room, he was the only soul in here that I could have any kind of conversation with. I liked his matter-of-fact approach to life, how he never hid behind false smiles and never pretended everything was fine.

"How about some magazines to pass the time?" I suggest one day, amazed at how Castiel never seemed to occupy himself, but then never seemed bored. I wish I had his endless stamina. "I doubt there's much else in the hospital shop, apart from food, so magazines will have to do" I grinned at him.

He did not return my smile (he never did), instead he asked, "Why would I need to bother with magazines?"

I gave him a pitying smile, "ah you are so missing out! Magazines are a wealth of knowledge, comedy, life tips and most importantly – hot guys!" I winked at him.

Castiel answered my wink with a look of complete bafflement, mixed with a dash of what I could only describe as pure terror. "Eliana," he finally said, his voice deadly serious, "I do not wish to look at... umm..." he looked around the room as if for inspiration, before finally returning his eyes to my face, "hot... err, guys." I almost laughed as his blue gaze seemed to be silently pleading with me.

I decided to play along. This was way too much of a fun opportunity to pass up on. "But Cas!" My hand flew up to my mouth in mock horror, "you would pass up the opportunity to witness Zac Efron? _Topless?_" I opened my mouth as if to gasp. I laughed as Castiel's expression became increasingly desperate and confused, bless him. Smiling, I stood up, "relax, I'll just get a puzzle magazine, not a hot guy, or girl, in sight." As I left I swear he visibly sagged in relief.

I found the hospital shop easily, the route very familiar to me by now. As I turned to enter the shop, however, I saw him. My dad. I stopped abruptly and sharply changed course to slide around a corner in the corridor just a bit further down from the shop. He must be coming to visit me, but he never visited me! I leant against the wall for support and took a deep breath. I had to face this head on, deal with it. I swallowed my terror and walked back in the direction of the shop.

"Dad! Wait!" He was just leaving the shop in the opposite direction, but my voice was feeble, he couldn't hear my call. I forced my knees to run after him and silently prayed they wouldn't give out on me. When I was closer I called again. This time he turned around.

"Well," he smirked, "if it isn't my darling daughter, how are we feeling _dear_?" I wanted to be strong, to answer back to him, but I felt my gaze shift to the floor.

"I'm fine, dad. Good." I mumbled. He gripped my arm so I tight I cried out and started to steer me down the corridor. "Please dad, let's go talk in my room. I can show you the way, you won't know where it is... please just let go, you're hurting me." I tried to dig my heels in the ground to stop myself moving. My dad abruptly stopped walking and violently yanked my arm so I stood leading the way.

"Come on then _princess_, where are we going?" He sneered. I glared at him then spun on my heel. I would not show him I was scared. I walked determinedly, not bothering to glance behind me to check he was following. I knew he would be.

As I reached the turn off to my room, I briefly paused before mentally deciding to change course. I knew what I had to do. I didn't have to fight him alone anymore.

I reached my destination and stopped in the doorway, "hey Cas," I announced, attempting to keep my tone light, "I'd like you to meet my dad."


	4. Escape

**Again, thank you SO much for the reviews... they mean the world to me and they are what keep me inspired and wanting to continue writing (:  
(Especially the ones who say I write Cas well, I was SO worried I hadn't...)  
****As it's my first fic, it's great to know people appreciate what I'm writing (:  
****I tried a bit more action in this chapter... I hope I pulled it off ok! Enjoy!**

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I walked straight into the room before my dad could react to my deception. I stood by Castiel's bed and spun to face my dad, my face set ready to take whatever he had to say, but he wasn't looking at me. He was sneering at Cas and, inexplicably, his eyes turned a jet black as I watched, whites and all. Then before I had any time to register what was happening they had returned to their normal hazel colour. I shook my head in disbelief, was it a trick of the light?

"Well, if it isn't a pretty little rag doll angel! I wouldn't have expected any better from my daughter, she certainly knows how to pick 'em!" My dad sneered at Castiel and I turned to Cas, my face a picture of shock, to see if he knew what my dad meant. However Castiel wasn't looking at me either. He was now on his feet and glaring at my dad with a look of defiance. I was caught in the middle of some bizarre stare-off that I was an complete outsider to.

"What's going on?"

My dad cackled at my question and finally glanced at me, "why, sweetie, don't you know who, or should I say _what, _your pretty boyfriend is?" A frown of mock confusion set into his expression, and then he grinned at me. I felt absolutely terrified.

"Eliana we need to go. _Now." _Castiel's voice had considerably deepened more than it already was and, even though I knew his strangely calm fury was not aimed at me, I could still hear the commanding power he emphasised his words with.

I tried to prevent my voice from trembling as I asked, "Cas? How do you know my dad?" I could feel a well of tears in my throat, but I refused to let them surface, I could not show any weakness to my father. It was something I had quickly learned soon after his change.

"I do not know your father. However I do know that this man here is no longer him. Please Eliana, I will not ask again. Go."

"Castiel! I wanna know what's happening! I know what my own father looks like!" A slight pitch of bewildered desperation had set into my tone, but I couldn't help it. What the hell was going on?

Castiel slightly averted his gaze to finally look at me and as he broke the intimidating stare he had fixed on my dad, all hell broke loose. My dad lunged at me, inhumanly fast, and wrapped his arms around me from behind, pinning my arms to my side. He lifted me off the ground and my legs started kicking wildly at thin air, desperately trying to connect with something. I called out in terror, tears now pouring freely down my face, but the door had been shut. Nobody would hear me.

"Let her go." Castiel fixed a menacing glare on my dad. Even I was scared and I wasn't the recipient of this gaze, but something about him had a presence and he seemed a lot more powerful than I'd ever witnessed before. He purposefully raised his arm and pointed his palm in the direction of my dad. Nothing happened. Castiel's face seemed to realise something and his expression shifted to that of a broken man. He lowered his arm, all trace of menace lost, as his gaze fell to the floor in defeat.

"Awww, pretty, _broken_ angel can't save his girlfriend? Guess I just gotta break her neck then yours, put you both out of your misery" my dad sneered from behind me, his breath hot on my neck.

"NO!" I cried out in one last burst of desperation as I twisted my body so I could place my feet on the hospital bed and push off with as much strength as I could muster. This overbalanced my dad and we both fell backwards onto the floor. I landed heavily on top of him and he moaned as his head connected with the floor. He was out cold. I quickly scuttled away from his limp body and went to Castiel.

"Cas? C'mon, let's go! He won't be out long," Castiel just continued to stare at the floor; it was if someone had turned out the lights behind those blue eyes. "Castiel! Listen to me!" I grabbed his shoulders and shook him as hard as I could.

Finally he dragged his gaze up to meet mine, as if his head was extremely heavy to lift. I tried to plead with him through my expression alone. "Who am I now?" he whispered and if I hadn't been so close I wouldn't have heard him at all. His gaze left my face and wandered around the room, but I could tell he wasn't actually registering what he was looking at. He was lost somewhere in his thoughts and I desperately needed to reach him.

"Cas," I said, my voice breaking with worry, "we _have _to go, the nurses will arrive and we can't be here when they do, we have to leave, just like you said," We stood there for what felt like a century, me with wide, pleading eyes, him refusing to meet my gaze, clearly lost in the maze of his own mind. Eventually I broke away and started to move around the room, shoving any important possessions into an empty carrier bag left on the floor. I soon realised Cas didn't have many things at all, but there was a cell phone that would come in handy and I grabbed a left-over fruit basket and a bottle of water that was left on the side. I vaguely remembered buying them for him. Finally I reached a drawer where his clothes had been kept. He only seemed to have one outfit and hastily I packed it. But I stopped dead in disbelief when I reached the bottom of the drawer. It was the coat. The trench coat from my dream. But how...? I shook my head; the time for questions would be later. We needed to leave.

I quickly returned to Castiel, who had remained exactly as I'd left him. I handed him the coat. "Put this on, I'm guessing it's cold out there, and we'll need to stop off at my room for some more stuff coz you own practically nothing, but we need to hurry. Castiel?"

After a pause that lasted forever Castiel finally dragged his gaze, with much effort, to rest on the coat I was proffering and this finally seemed to reach him somehow. He took the coat off me and put it on over his hospital gown. "You're right. Let's go." He whispered. He actually seemed to notice I was there, but the look of hopelessness was still present in his eyes. At least he was responding now. I grabbed his hand and we left the hospital.

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**just a quick note - I guess demons probably can't get knocked out... but I thought I'd use a bit of creative license so please just roll with it ;) Don't forget to review! Good OR bad (just not _too _harsh if its bad hehe) (:**


	5. Confession

**I apologize for updating so often!  
But I've already got quite a bit written (coz originally I wasn't gonna even post this so I just kept writing ahaa!)  
Aaaaand I start Uni next week (eeeek) so I thought I'd get as much of what I have posted before I head off to Uni and I won't be able to write as much (:  
****Enjoy! And thank you for reading (:**

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**We found an abandoned warehouse a little way away from the hospital. I decided this would be a good a place as any to set up shop and evaluate what had happened. After we had used a spare office room to change and had eaten some grapes, I demanded we sit and talk.

"Ok, Cas. Explain. What the hell is going on?" I fixed the most demanding glare I could on him as I knelt on the floor. Castiel hesitated for a second then also sat cross-legged opposite me. He sighed and met my gaze with that returned desolate expression of his own. Whatever happened to him in the hospital, it had obviously shaken him up. "That man in there, he was your father possessed by a demon. That explains the change in his behaviour lately. Demons are known to be evil and unashamedly cruel beings."

I spluttered, not knowing what to say to this. Of all the possible explanations I had dreamed up in my head for my dad's personality change, _demon_ was not one of them.

Cas had not finished, "this is relatively good news though. It means your real father is still in his body somewhere. We just need to send the demon back to hell with the body unharmed and your father will return."

I laughed without humour. "Good news? Are you kidding me? How, exactly, are you supposed to send a demon back to hell?"

"Exorcism. Or an angel can kill them. Other than that a special knife or gun, but they would also inevitably kill your father."

I raised an eyebrow, "So we need the priest off _The Exorcist _or some toga-wearing dude? Well, good to know it'll be so easy." I couldn't help the sarcasm; my mind had been subject to so much today already.

Castiel frowned at me. "I thought you'd realised, I am-" he broke off midsentence and shut his eyes as if in pain, "_was, _an angel. Now I am what can only be considered as a broken shell of one. I am useless." He placed a hand over his closed eyelids as I tried to process what he just said.

"Angel? Seriously, Castiel! How am I supposed to keep up with all this?" I ran a hand through my hair as I began to feel overwhelmed; I could not get my head around all this new information. Cas was... an angel?

Finally Castiel opened his eyes and shrugged at me, "You wanted the truth. I cannot help you Eliana, I know that now," It seemed to visibly pain him to say this. "I need to contact Sam and Dean Winchester. They can help you."

I almost choked with shock, "did you just say... Winchester?" When he just nodded I felt my eyes widen and my jaw drop. "I dreamt about them guys! I didn't remember 'til now... and your coat..."

I was lost in my own trail of thoughts until I realised Cas was speaking to me, "...about your dream? I need to know these things Eliana. You should have informed me. How do you know the Winchesters?"

I shook my head, "that's the thing! I don't!" I replied, "I had a nightmare in the hospital and my dad was there, but he's always there, and you were there..." I paused, unsure whether I should tell him about the burning. I decided against it, "...you were wearing the trench coat, and there were these two guys. I knew they were Winchesters. I just don't know how!"

Castiel was peering at me curiously, "do you often have dreams like this Eliana?"

I shook my head, trying to remember my previous dreams, "no. Just my dad a..and flames. Always flames." I pulled my knees up to my chest and leant my head on them. "What does it mean?"

"Nothing. Then again, maybe everything", was Castiel's enigmatic reply.

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"Later I shall contact the Winchester brothers. But right now you need sleep." Castiel announced after we had eaten our supper of apples and slightly mouldy pears.

I chuckled. "Surely you need sleep too, Cas?"

He frowned. "I guess I do. I am not used to... sleeping."

I settled down on a fairly clean spot of concrete, shuffling around in an attempt to get comfortable. I briefly contemplated selling my soul somehow for a nice soft mattress. "This damn floor is so cold. How the hell are we supposed to sleep?" I moaned, knowing I sounded extremely childish but not particularly caring. Camping had always been my pet hate in life.

"Do... I mean... would you like my coat? Would it be comfier to lie on? I'm not sure what I am supposed to suggest..." Castiel trailed off awkwardly. It seemed he wasn't use to dealing with the fairer sex. Especially of the sulky variety.

I smiled at him gratefully, "keep your coat Cas, it's cold. You'll need it for yourself!"

"I... um. I... insist?" He sighed, unsure. "I do not think I feel the cold much, despite my change. Jimmy's suit is actually manufactured from quite thick material. I think it will suffice for tonight." He took off his coat. "Take it."

A laugh escaped from me as I took the coat off him and was about to bunch it into a ball to make some sort of pillow when I changed my mind. I didn't particularly want to crease it that much for some unknown reason. So instead I put it on. It completely dwarfed me, but it was cosy and warm.

Castiel lowered himself into a sitting position a little away from where I was lying. I propped myself up onto my elbow and studied him. Emphasised by the events of the hospital, there was still a lingering glimmer of misery about him, despite his obvious attempts at hiding it. Now I actually looked at him I could see the lines of tiredness etched into his face, but his eyes still shone as brilliantly blue as ever. I just hoped he had recovered significantly from the shell he had transformed into for those few moments when I couldn't reach him in the hospital. It scared me.

He realised I was staring and met my gaze a little uneasily. "Are you not tired Eliana? Or are you still uncomfortable?"

I blushed, "no, no, I'm fine. I was just... wondering... what happened to you? I mean, your mind went completely AWOL after my dad attacked us. I don't understand what happened."

Castiel chuckled dryly. "I was an angel. I had the power my Father had blessed me with to protect and destroy. Now I am no different to a human. Useless."

I raised my eyebrows, "useless? Thanks Cas!" I laughed then asked, "What could you do?" He had definitely captured my interest now. This whole new world of the supernatural had been opened up to me and I desperately wanted to learn, to experience. To help my dad.

"At first I could do everything. I could heal even the direst of injuries; I could kill demons, move things with only my mind, teleport wherever I wished with just one thought. I didn't need to sleep, I didn't need to eat or drink, or even think for myself. I had the strength of a 100 men, I was indestructible. I was the perfect soldier." He smiled wistfully. "Then I... had an incident and lost the ability to heal or kill demons. I began to question my Father's orders; it led me to rebel against my own kind." He frowned. "The Winchester brothers showed me what it meant to _feel_ and to truly care for someone. It was something I had a desire to understand."

I was completely captivated by his story. I never realised angels could be so damn complicated. "So, how come you lost it all?" I gasped, "You tried to use your powers in the hospital didn't you? That's why you were so defeated... you couldn't do anything anymore."

He nodded sadly. "Yes. I wanted to help you and I couldn't. You could have been killed and I could not stop it."

I felt tears prick behind my eyes. Castiel truly wished to help me fight my dad. I had never had someone who would willingly fight for my life before, apart from my _actual _dad. "Why did you lose it all?" I whispered, scared he had said too much and would retract back into his maze of thoughts, shut off from me once more.

"I risked everything to help a human" he chuckled darkly, "a human I did not even believe was worth fighting for! I thought I would most probably die, but instead I just... lost all power. Like a used battery. You could say my angel charge is all gone, but I am still here."

"Will you get it back? Re-charge the batteries or summat?"

"I don't know. I believe my Father will help me, I simply cannot believe he doesn't care anymore. Not after all the faith I put in Him."

I blinked. "Your Father? As in... God?"

Castiel frowned at me. "Well, of course. Who else would He be?"

"Uhh... the heavenly milkman?" I chuckled at my own joke, then instantly stopped at Cas' serious expression. God jokes not ok. Check. I cleared my throat awkwardly, "surely you just need to pop into Heaven and bam, there's the big man Himself upstairs sitting on his cloud?"

"Even angels find it inadvisable to attempt to make physical contact with a cloud; they are known to be unstable. Besides, I cannot access Heaven since I rebelled and even if I could He is no longer there. He has left the fight to us."

"Daddy's abandoned you? I knew there was a reason why I never agreed with religion." I sighed.


	6. Guardian Angel

_I was in the warehouse. It was dark, unnaturally dark. I pushed my loose brown curls out of my face with my right hand. I frowned at a deep gash on my palm. How did it get there? I couldn't see a thing. I was terrified. Broken glass, all over the floor. Seemed to be from beer bottles. A figure in the darkness. Who? I took a step forward. A scuffling noise. I stopped. A strange smell... smoke. A fire blossomed in front of me and, through the flames, I could see. He was here._

"_Hello princess."_

I shot up into a sitting position and tried to calm my frenzied breathing. This dream was different... the fire wasn't the most memorable aspect for once, and I could actually recall more of a sequence of events. As if it was an actual situation, not just a jumbled mess of images and emotion. I rubbed the sleep from my face and my attention was drawn to my hand. Yes I was in the warehouse, but my palm was intact, no wound in sight. _See Eliana? Just a dream. _I shook my head to clear the fuzzy just-woken-up feeling and wearily pulled myself into a standing position.

Suddenly fear engulfed me. There was a shape, a decidedly human shape, across the room. They had their back to me, but that did not mean they didn't know I was here. Nevertheless I crept across the room as quietly as I could, trying not to make any distinct sound to give away my presence. When I was just a metre away from the person, I hesitated. What exactly was I planning to do? I had no weapon, and I wasn't all that strong. I reached into my pocket to feel the familar shape of my locket and sent a silent prayer to whoever was listening as I crept forward, completely unprepared. Maybe I should just jump on them? Or kick them? That felt very Lara Croft kick-ass...

Before I had a chance to decide however, the shape spun around like a flash. I clenched my eyes shut in anticipation of the inevitable blow and as I opened my mouth to scream a hand clamped down on it and forced me into silence. My eyes flew open, wide, and I was faced with a set of very blues ones just inches away from mine. It was Castiel.

I felt the relief like a huge wave, it was only Cas. I was safe. _He _was not here. Then I got angry. I shoved as hard as I could against Castiel's chest to make him stumble a little and the distraction was just what I needed to release his hand from over my mouth. I glowered at him and yelled, "What the hell, Cas?"

At least he had the dignity to look flustered, maybe even a little embarrassed, for an angel. "I apologize Eliana... I thought you were asleep, I was just keeping watch."

"Yeah well, I woke up. " He just stood there, looking a bit too much like a lost puppy. All my annoyance drained away at the sight of him and I gave him a small smile. "I'm sorry; you scared me, that's all. What're you doing awake anyways?" I raised my eyebrows questioningly.

His eyes darted around the room, obviously trying to avoid mine. "I cannot sleep very easily. I am not used to it," he answered. I placed a hand on my hip, and he hesitated before adding, "I... also wanted to make sure you were safe." He met my eyes and I thought I detected a flicker of worry behind his expressionless blue ones.

I smiled gratefully at him, he just wanted to protect me. I felt a stab in my heart, a stab of... what? Appreciation? Gratitude? I felt... _something._ I blushed as I realised Castiel was still watching my face carefully and I felt so glad that angels couldn't read minds. "Umm..." I let out a small awkward cough as I forced my mind back to the conversation, "I'm fine, you shouldn't worry, just get some sleep ok?"

He nodded, still keeping his eyes locked on my face. I was blushing furiously, so I grinned at him and stated, "I'm gonna try and get back to sleep, just don't try and attack me in the morning!" He returned my smile as I once again curled up on the floor. "'Night, Cas."

"Goodnight Eliana."

"Thank you" I mumbled quietly as sleep began to claim me once more.

"You're welcome."

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**Soo.. what do you guys think? Good or bad?  
I hope at least one person out there is liking this, even if it's just one person I shall be happy ;D  
And Sam and Dean appear in the next chapter so keep an eye out for that (: **


	7. Winchesters

I awoke in the morning from a blissfully dreamless sleep to the sound of a car engine outside. Someone was here. I stretched and opened my eyes, letting them adjust to the daylight and my surroundings. I looked for Castiel and found him standing a little way away, eating a handful of grapes.

"Man, I still can't get used to the sight of you having to _snack_."

I bolted upright in surprise at the new voice and scanned the room for this extra person. I spotted him, along with another guy, just entering the warehouse from the main entrance. _Winchester._ The man who had spoken was shorter than the other. _Dean._ His companion was considerably taller and ran a hand through his long hair. _Sam._ Castiel just glowered at Dean's words and then his gaze settled on me once he realised I was awake. "Eliana, this is Sam and Dean Winchester."

Both of the Winchesters span almost simultaneously to get a look at me. I stumbled to my feet and smiled in embarrassment, attempting to infuse some control into my bed-head curls. "Um, hi." _Great first impression, Eliana._

Sam gave me an awkward half smile and mumbled a greeting back. Dean, however, was smirking at me as he openly checked me out. "Wow, Cas, you've already got her wearing your clothes? I applaud your quick work, didn't know you had it in you!" He winked at me and I blushed a violent red. I'd forgotten I was still wearing the trench coat.

"It was cold. She was uncomfortable." Castiel explained seriously, not really understanding the joke that was aimed at him.

Dean just chuckled. "Hi, I'm Dean," he smiled at me. I returned the smile and walked across the room to get some water, hoping I maintained some dignity in my stride.

"So Cas, what's the deal?" Sam asked.

"Yeah, coz I kinda get the feeling we're interrupting something here," Dean chuckled again. He was clearly enjoying this.

I scowled as Castiel explained, ignoring Dean's comment. "I was at the hospital, as you know, and I met Eliana. Her father came to visit her and he has clearly been possessed by a demon, for around a year now, so we escaped to here and called you. I thought you could be of assistance."

Sam turned to look at me, confusion etched into his expression, "why would a demon possess your dad? And why for a whole year?" I drained the last bit of my water and shrugged. "I didn't even know he was a... demon 'til yesterday, so don't ask me."

"I have a theory. Eliana has these dreams and I believe the demon may have wished to manipulate these dreams. She dreamt about you before she knew you even existed, when I mentioned your names she knew who you were. I assume you have never met?" Castiel looked at the brothers expectantly; apparently the question was not rhetorical. Sam answered him with a bemused shake of his head.

Dean gave me an impressed look, "dreams, huh?" I was too busy staring at Castiel to notice Dean's words, "Excuse me? My dreams aren't... aren't... _visions _or anything! I can't even make any sense out of them!"

Castiel matched my stare with a frown of his own. "Eliana, there is no other logical reason to explain why a demon would attach itself to you. Most demons do not wish to hang around, they get what they want and they leave. It wants something of yours. Your nightmares." He peered at me, obviously realising something. I squirmed under his intense stare. "You had another nightmare last night, didn't you?" He asked, "That is why you were awake. You should have said something Eliana."

Grimacing I blurted, "Do you know how hard it is to tell someone something when they have their hand clamped over your mouth?" I glowered at him.

Dean howled with laughter, "Cas, I think this new human thing is suiting you _very _well, if you know what I mean!" Even Sam chuckled at this. "Hey, Dean, can you feel that? Sexual tension my friend." I shot them the dirtiest look I could as I snapped, "don't be so immature!" This just set them into more peals of laughter.

Castiel looked utterly confused, "But Dean... I have also been required to silence you in the same way before in the past. I do not understand the humour." Sam raised an eyebrow and folded his arms, whilst I just plain stared.

"Cas that... that was different! Lives were at stake!" I was finding Dean's discomfort highly amusing. Castiel tilted his head, "how was that any different?"

"Because... because it just was, ok!"

Sam clapped a hand on Dean's back, "good comeback there, big brother. I'm so proud." He teased, whilst Dean just continued to scowl at Castiel like a sulky teenager.

"Guys?" I asked, clearing my throat, "can we get back to business now?"

Sam nodded at me, whilst Dean crossed his arms and leant against a nearby wall, finally looking at me after one more glare at Castiel. Castiel, however, did not register Dean's glare as his gaze rested, almost thoughtfully, on me. "Where is your mother, Eliana?" He enquired.

Dean and Sam did the simultaneous-look thing again as both swivelled their heads towards Castiel in shock.

"You can't just blurt out personal questions like that!" Dean spluttered, his eyes wide. Sam nodded emphatically, "yeah Cas it's kinda... rude." Castiel frowned at them both, "I am curious. The information may be of import to the cause."

I shrugged, "it's ok, I'm ok. My... mother... does not exist to me anymore. She walked out on us when I was about 5 and never looked back. I have no idea where she is now but I don't particularly care, it's just me and my dad, always has been." My eyes were fixed onto the floor, so I wouldn't have to see the predictably sympathetic glances the three men shared. I was over it.

"I'm sorry Eliana." Sam said, shoving his hands in his jeans pockets awkwardly. Out of the corner of my eye I saw Dean shoot a what-did-I-tell-you look at a bemused Castiel. I twisted my mouth into a shadow of a smile, "don't be sorry! Me and my dad have managed perfectly fine" I attempted a casual, airy tone, but even to my own ears it sounded forced.

Dean clapped his hands together and walked over to me, "hey, how about we go get some supplies? I, for one, cannot live on grapes. I want me some pie!" Sam laughed and tossed some car keys at Dean as he headed towards the exit, which Dean caught easily with one hand. "Sammy, you stay here and keep an eye on lover-boy over there, I'll leave you some salt and chalk so you two can start demon-proofing this place." When he reached the door he turned around and looked to see if I following. As I got nearer he winked and said in a stage-whisper, "you may want to think about giving that coat back first. Cas may get cold easily now he's all human and we wouldn't want that." He cackled good-heartedly as he left me to return Castiel's coat and hurry after him, my face an interesting shade of crimson.

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**The Winchesters are here! I sucked at writing Sam so that's why he doesn't say a lot! He is SO hard to get right o.O  
This chapter is kinda uninspired, but I just started Uni this week and it's been a nightmare... so that's why xD  
I hope you enjoyed it anyways, I *tried* to put some humour in it (:**


	8. Bruised

**This is a Dean chapter, so I hope you guys like some Dean!  
The next chapter will also be with Dean, but don't worry Cas is back after that! (:  
Btw, anyone else annoyed at the lack of Cas in the season 6 premiere? where the hell is he? o.O  
But I hope you enjoy this chapter! And please review etc ;D**

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The Impala roared along the road as we headed downtown in search of some decent stores. I was staring out of my passenger window, only vaguely aware of the trees and buildings that were flying past. We had driven this far in silence, each lost in their respective thoughts, but then Dean decided to break that silence. "So," he began, "I take it this is your first encounter with demons, or anything other-worldly?"

I remained facing my window as I shrugged, "Yeah, I guess... a whole year, and not once did I realise what had happened to my dad. In a way it's a relief to know it was never him in control of the way he was acting."

Another brief pause ensued before Dean asked, "I don't mean to pry but... I also take it Demon-dad is the reason you were in the hospital?"

I didn't reply. Instead I lifted the hem of my top slightly to reveal severe bruising all along my stomach. The bruises were a sickly green colour now, but there were once very angry shades of purple and red. Dean whistled softly. "Geez, I'm sorry Eliana, I really am. Me and Sam, we try and protect innocent people like you from these monsters, but we can't always reach everyone before some damage is done."

I shrugged again. I still had yet to avert my eyes from the scenery outside, but I was finding it easier to have this conversation whilst apparently absorbed in the sky outside. "He..." I swallowed and took a calming breath, "he also broke one of my ribs and gave me mild concussion." I smiled grimly, although Dean could not see this.

I could sense him hesitate before he asked, "What did you tell the nurses?"

"I knew it wasn't my dad hurting me... I just _knew_ he could never do that to me, so I lied. Said I fell down the stairs." I gave a wry chuckle. "Obviously the nurses didn't believe me, but if I don't say otherwise they can't do anything and have to take my word for it." I sighed. "I was so... _alone_. My - I mean the demon - scared all my friends away, I was left with nobody. Besides, my best friend had always been my dad anyways." I laughed humourlessly. "I lost my job because I was distracted, made too many mistakes. They had no choice but to fire me. He terrified even potential boyfriends."I smiled to myself, completely engrossed in telling my story. I seemed to forget Dean was even there, I just needed to tell someone, anyone, a stranger. "Then one day I met Castiel. I wasn't under the shadow of my dad whilst in the hospital; I was free to make a friend for once. I just seemed to... connect with Castiel." I gave a small shake of my head, "I can't explain it. Then when my dad attacked me in the hospital, Cas stood by me. He didn't get scared and run, he didn't feel like it wasn't his problem. He _cared_, y'know?"

Dean chuckled quietly, "yeah Cas cares. That's his problem sometimes." Finally I drew my eyes away from my window to look at Dean. He was staring straight at the road, apparently absorbed in his driving. "What do you mean?" I ventured, unsure if Dean would elaborate.

A flicker of a wistful smile crossed Dean's face, "Cas is willing to sacrifice himself for me, and has done on several occasions now. This last time... he jumped in front of a gun, in a manner of speaking, for me. He didn't even think I was strong enough to be worth sacrificing himself for, but Cas did it anyway. He just..." Dean shook his head slowly in disbelief. "He doesn't understand selfishness."

I gasped, "It was you! You're the human he lost his powers for!" My eyes widened in surprise as Dean cast me an ashamed sideways glance, "yeah, I guess I am." He hesitated before asking, "How's he dealing with that? The human thing?"

My eyes wandered back to the window. "He's better now. I think it's just getting past the shock of losing it all, having to re-adjust. He's an angel of the Lord, he'll get through it" I chuckled, trying to lighten the mood. A whisper of a smile crossed Dean's expression, but through it I could feel his true emotion. Guilt.


	9. Surprise

We continued the rest of the journey in silence, once again returning to our own thoughts. Eventually we reached a decent looking grocery store and Dean swung the Impala into an empty parking space. As we were getting out of the car I saw Dean checking a gun hidden in his jacket.

"What is that for?" I asked, thinking it a little paranoid to carry a gun to a store.

Dean smiled grimly, "In this line of work it is always better to be safe than sorry, but you'll learn that soon enough."

"Well I ain't carrying a loaded weapon around with me" I said, snorting. Dean just shook his head in disbelief and offered me a knife. I stared blankly at it as Dean waved it at me, emphasising that I should take it from him. Folding my arms I said, "I am not carrying a weapon. It'll... stab me in my pocket or something. No way."

Dean sighed, twirling the knife casually in his hand whilst I watched in fascination. "Practically all my life I've been a hunter, and not once has my own knife stabbed me in my pocket. I'll think you'll be perfectly safe." I raised my chin in defiance, refusing to be the one to cave first. He shrugged casually, "I'm gonna just jab it into your pocket regardless. You need to be armed, and if you won't take a gun a knife will have to do." He raised his eyebrows, challenging me. I opened my mouth to answer with some clever retort, but when no inspiration came to me I just grabbed the knife off him with a huff and span on my heel to storm into the store. I could hear Dean chuckling to himself behind me.

We entered the store and I turned to him. "Ok, so what do we need to get? I have no money though..." I asked as I ran a hand through my hair in embarrassment. Dean smiled at me and muttered so only I could hear, "that's fine, Sammy and I have... ways of getting money," he nodded at me conspiratorially.

I raised my eyebrows. "I take it these 'ways' aren't strictly legal?" Dean grinned at me, "not strictly, no." He answered as he headed off towards one of the aisles.

As I started to follow him I glimpsed a mother and her daughter doing their shopping. The daughter was around 5 years old and was holding up a teddy bear, obviously trying to persuade her mum to buy it for her. The mum was laughing and ruffling her daughter's hair as she shook her head in reply to the daughter's request.

"You coming, Eliana?" Dean's voice suddenly cut through my thoughts, making me jump. I nodded in the direction of the young daughter. "I used to have a teddy bear just like that. My mum bought it for me before she... y'know, left."

Dean followed my gaze to the mother and the daughter before turning back to me. "You miss her, don't you?"

I shook my head, "not really. I don't even really remember her. I guess... I think I just miss the _idea _of her, of having a mother." I tore my gaze away from the teddy bear to meet Dean's concerned expression. "It's hard to explain" I finished, attempting to brush it off with a smile.

Dean frowned, "no, I get you. My mother died when I was four, Sam was just a baby. I miss her like crazy but my memories of her..." he trailed off with a small, sad shake of his head, "it's hard to remember stuff when from when you were four. The only thing I do remember as clear as yesterday is the night she died. Now _there's _something that will never leave me."

"Oh, Dean I'm sorry, I didn't know..." I swallowed, "how did... I mean, how did she-"

My question was cut off by an almighty crashing sound from the front of the store. I became completely disorientated as people started screaming and shards of glass rained down on me. My eyes sought out the source of the commotion, but it wasn't hard to find. Someone had driven a van straight through the glass front of the store. I gaped at the scene, not believing what I was seeing, as a man I didn't know got out of the passenger's side, his eyes flashing that jet black that my father's were in the hospital. Then I nearly fainted with terror as my dad got out of the driver's door.

"Honey, I'm home!" He snarled as he met my terrified eyes.

Before my brain could process the situation properly, Dean had already lunged at the unknown demon and stabbed him with a knife I didn't know Dean had on him. The stab wound flickered an orange colour, before the man toppled to the floor, dead. Suddenly I could tell what scene was about to unfold as Dean then raised his arm to drive the knife into my dad. I cried out and sprinted at Dean, faster than I'd ever moved before; twisting his arm once I was in reach. My element of surprise was just what I needed to succeed in averting Dean's attempt at stabbing my dad, but he could not see who was attacking him and instinctively swung his foot out, knocking my legs out clean from beneath me. I flung my hands out to break my fall as I crashed down amongst the glass on the floor. Dean span round, about to face his opponent, but stopped dead when he realised it was me. "Eliana? What the hell?" he spat, furious.

My dad saw this opportunity and dove at Dean, but Dean swiftly side-stepped the attack and brought his knife up again.

"No!" I yelled, "It's my dad! You'll kill him!"

Dean looked at me, his expression confused. He looked back at my dad. "Son-of-a-bitch!" Dean exclaimed, before driving the knife down. I screamed as I saw the knife fall in slow-motion, towards my father, there was nothing I could do this time.

Then I realised the knife's destination. Dean plunged it into my dad's arm, making him cry out in pain and clutch his wound. Dean took advantage of this distraction and grabbed my arm, yanking me off the floor. He dragged me out of the store and we soon reached the Impala and sped off.

Dean drove in silence, obviously not in the mood to discuss the event yet. This was perfectly fine with me, but once we were on our way I realised tears were escaping down my face. I hadn't felt them in the store. I swiped them away angrily, still not processing what had just happened, but as I drew my hand away from my face I glanced at my palm in shock.

"_I frowned at a deep gash on the palm. How did it get there?"_

The glass from the store floor had dug a large gash into the palm of my right hand and I knew I'd seen it before. It was identical to the wound I had inexplicably had in my last dream.

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**Meh. This is one crappy chapter, I'm really sorry ;/  
But the next one is better (in my opinion anyways) so look out for that (: Cas is back! YAY!**


	10. Comfort

**Some more Cas in this chapter ;D  
Please let me know what you think! And thank you for reading (: **

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As soon as we entered the warehouse Castiel was instantly heading towards us but he stopped abruptly and frowned when he saw my tear-stained face. "Eliana... what happened?" I walked towards Castiel as Dean strode wordlessly past us and headed into a side-room of the warehouse, probably to find Sam. Hurriedly, I approached Castiel.

"I... he..." I shook my head, unable to say anymore as tears, tears I thought I'd already shed, started to pour down my face again. I instinctively leant my head on Castiel's shoulder as sobs wracked my body.

At first I felt Castiel's shoulder stiffen in response to my touch and I was just about to pull away in embarrassment when he hesitantly placed a single hand on my back. "Tell me what happened Eliana." He demanded softly, slightly patting me with his one hand. I took a deep, ragged breath, "my d-dad... he found us... I d-don't know how... D-Dean nearly stabbed him... he k-killed a different d-demon..." I buried my head deeper into Castiel's trench coat and clung to its folds, any other words I said lost amongst the fabric.

We just stood there for a few moments, unmoving, neither of us daring to break away first. Then slowly Castiel pulled away and placed his hands on each of my shoulders, forcing me to look at him. "Eliana, start from the beginning. I cannot understand your story." I met his unwavering blue eyes, sensing a glimmer of concern within them. I sank to the cold floor in exhaustion and leant my forehead on my knees. I could feel Castiel lower himself to the ground beside me. I brought my head up to rest my chin on my knees, so my mouth was free to speak. "We went to the store, just like we planned. Everything was going great, but then..." I shut my eyes, mentally trying to keep more tears at bay before I dared to continue.

Castiel was silent next to me, just carefully watching as I slowly recounted the story. I dragged a hand through my hair, not caring if my action made it even more of a birds-nest than it was before. I wiped away some tears with the back of my hand before continuing, "There was a crash from the store front, a van had been driven through the huge glass window... he... my dad... he was there. With another demon. Dean killed the unknown demon but I only just managed to stop him killing my dad too. Instead he injured him and we got the hell outta there." I buried my face in my knees again, my story finished.

"You are in shock. You nearly lost your father." I let out a deep sigh of agreement and rubbed my face with both hands. I returned my chin to my knees, just as Castiel cautiously reached a hand out towards my face. I let him brush his fingers gently across my right cheek. I sat stock still, not wanting to break this unusually intimate action from Cas. He was peering at me, his expression completely unreadable, as his fingers lingered on my shocked face. Slowly he removed his hand away from me and turned his it palm up. "You have been bleeding Eliana." He stated as I frowned and glanced down at his hand. Blood, my blood, was smeared across the fingers that had been in contact with my cheek. I grimaced as I remembered the gash on my palm, the palm I had rubbed my face with, which I showed Castiel.

"How did this happen?"

"I fell on the floor and there was glass everywhere, I must have caught my hand on one of the shards." I rubbed my left hand across my face to try and remove traces of the blood, whilst Castiel continued to examine my right hand. "I do not understand human remedies," he said, his gruff voice barely audible, "You will have to show the Winchester brothers so they can repair your hand." He was staring at me sincerely, but I knew deep down he was hurt that he could not help me. In a way I could sympathise with what it was like to lose eveything.

Absent-mindedly I reached into my pocket for a locket I always carried around with me. I never wore it though, it hurt too much. I just liked to know it was there when I was upset, or deep in thought. Castiel was watching me closely. "You have something in your pocket."

I chuckled and smiled sadly at him, pulling the locket out of my pocket. I silently handed it over to him so he could look at it. I couldn't watch him do it.

"E. R. H. Your initials?" Castiel asked. I nodded, "Eliana Rose Hopewell. My mother gave me that locket when I was born and I've always kept it. It used to have a picture of her and my dad holding me the day I was born but I took it out a few years ago. It's empty now." I shrugged, "If she ever comes home I'll update it." I added, dryly.

Castiel was very quiet, so I glanced at him to see if he was listening. I warily watched as he turned the locket over in his hands thoughtfully. Something was obviously bothering him. "Hopewell?" He eventually asked, "That is your surname?"

I give that emotional mini speech and all he gets from it is my _surname?_ I really didn't understand him sometimes. "Yeah..." I answered with a confused frown.

He mirrored my frown and continued to peer at the locket, as if some miraculous answer to an unknown question was hidden in its embossed surface. I sighed, "what's up, Cas?" I asked as it became apparent he's not going to give me an explanation unprompted.

"I do not... I just feel like I know that name from somewhere..." he trailed off and stood up. Before I could even think of following him he's walking off towards the room that the Winchester brothers were in. I rolled my eyes as I realised he's still got my damn locket and hurried to follow him.


	11. Determination

**Ahhh it's been so long since I last updated!  
University's a bitch ;/  
I hope you enjoy this chapter anyways, second half is better than the first IMO (: **

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I entered the room that the three men have gathered in and all three instantly stop talking as they realised I was standing there in doorway; it's obvious they were discussing me. I folded my arms and narrowed my eyes at them, "seriously guys, you'll have to be more subtle than that. Spill. What are you chatting about?"

"Castiel has... realised something, Eliana. Something about you." Sam answered as Castiel was staring at me curiously from behind him. Dean was unusually quiet.

I tried to hide the wariness in my voice as I directly appealed to Castiel, "What? What do you know?"

"What is your mother's first name, Eliana?"

This was the last question I expecting, "Amina..." I answered, a little guarded.

Sam and Dean both exchanged incredulous glances as Castiel met my gaze and said, with no attempt at softening the news, "I have reason to believe your mother may be a prophet of the Lord."

I choked, unable to process what he had just said. A... _what_ of the Lord? I looked at each one of them in turn, trying to gauge whether they were joking with me or not. Pretty quickly I realised they weren't. "So... umm... what does that mean?" I enquired, as my thoughts tried to desperately process this information.

"Well your mother, she has visions... visions straight from God. They will virtually always come true." Sam answered with an almost apologetic smile. I shook my head in disbelief, "well Cas said I have visions too! I'm not a... a prophet!"

"No. You are the child of one." Castiel said, as if that explained everything. I narrowed my eyes at him, "well how do you know this?" I demanded, "You're technically not even an angel anymore! You can't just... just... _know_ things like that!" I spluttered in complete shock. With a sharp gasp I realised what I had said too late. Dean raised his eyebrows at me and Sam ran a hand through his hair awkwardly. Castiel's gaze wavered for a second, but then he regained his composure and glared at me. "I may not have the abilities of an angel anymore," he began, his gravelly voice dangerously low, "but I still remember the information I was taught. Prophet's names were part of this information. I know the name of every single prophet."

"Don't piss off the nerd angels..." Dean muttered softly, whilst pretending to gaze around the room.

"I... I'm sorry Cas, I didn't mean it..." I gave a half-hearted chuckle, "it's just the shock..." I trailed off as I noticed Castiel wasn't even listening to me. Suddenly he strode straight past me into the main section of the warehouse. I glanced at Sam and Dean, who both gave bewildered shrugs in answer. I sighed and followed Castiel into the main room.

He was heading towards the exit, "Cas! Wait! Where are you going? I said I'm sorry, I- "

"I am aware that you apologized Eliana." He said, cutting me off, "I also know that you believe I am weak, I know nothing of human fighting techniques or their weapons, and I have no angel abilities. I realise I am completely useless to you." He turned to leave.

"Cas! Please! Just... wait, can we talk about this? I _honestly _don't believe you are weak or- "

"There is nothing to discuss. I can be of no assistance here, but I know what I can do to help. I have made up my mind."

Desperately I ran to him, stumbling on the concrete ground in my haste, and lunged for his sleeve. "Castiel? Don't... don't go."

He shifted round slightly to face me and I felt his arm relax as he let me hold his sleeve. He peered at me as his head tilted slightly in apparent confusion, "Eliana, it makes perfect sense. I have to go find your mother." He stated.

I dropped his arm in surprise and stared at him, my jaw wide. "WHAT?"

"I have to find your mother. I cannot fight your father so I must help in another way. This is what I am capable of."

I gave a bewildered laugh and shook my head emphatically, "no. You stay here. I..."

He frowned, "if it really means that much to you, I will stay. I just believe this would be the best course of action to take next."

I took a step towards him and clutched onto the front of his coat in desperation, leaning my forehead against his chest. I closed my eyes, "thank you" I answered, my voice a whisper, not even knowing if he heard me. Raising my head to look at him, I saw his eyes were full of uncertainty as he returned my gaze. My mouth twitched into a small smile, which he returned with a curious frown as he cautiously placed a hand over one of mine that was clutching his coat still. He gaze fell on our entwined hands, almost as if he couldn't quite understand what he'd just done. I watched his face trying to find explanation or reason. With my free hand I tilted his chin so his blue gaze once again met mine and, with a silent plea in my eyes, I whispered, "please stay. I need you... and... and you might get hurt or killed and I couldn't- "

His brow furrowed and his mouth set in a determined line as, with a jolt, I realised I had said _exactly _the wrong thing. Snatching his hand back, he sharply took a step back from me, raising his chin in determination. He gaze me an icy glare, all hints of compassion vanished, as he began to turn back to the door. I limply reached for his hand again in defeat. He let me take it before saying, his voice low, "So I am supposed to stay here, defenceless? All because I am no longer indestructible?" Even I could hear the flashes of hurt in his tone as he refused to meet my gaze again, "I predict you would not have felt as passionately about me leaving if I could not be killed so easily. I need to do this Eliana."

With that, he strode out of the door without so much as a last glance in my direction. Silently, I let him go.


	12. Emotion

Castiel walked away from the warehouse and did not look back. Not because he wanted to leave, but because he simply could not look. He could not see her face. The face that invoked so much... _feeling_ inside of him, in the pit of his stomach and the flutter of his heart. Castiel strode away from the abandoned building and continued his path down the dirt road leading to the warehouse. Only then did he allow himself one final backward glance, knowing all he would see would be bushes and a faint shadow of a shape beyond them.

"I apologize, Eliana." He whispered into the silence, not knowing why he uttered those words. What was he sorry for? Leaving her? Or not being brave enough to stay? Castiel slowly shook his head and frowned at the floor. That was the truth, wasn't it? He was a coward. He knew he was getting too close to this girl, this girl who made him feel things he never did as an angel. It frightened him. He grabbed any excuse to leave, when he wasn't angry at Eliana, he found he _couldn't_ be angry with her, despite trying.

He blamed his transformation for these thoughts. He was being flooded with emotions that he had no name for, and so many that he could not keep track and his head hurt. It did not mean anything, just that he just couldn't understand it all yet. Surely that was what confusing him in regards to Eliana, simply that he couldn't seperate the many emotions. Or was that just what he was telling himself? He certainly did not envy humans, who had to cope with this uncertainty on a daily basis. An angel should never have such thoughts, such... disorientation.

Yet... what exactly was he experiencing towards Eliana? Affection? Or something more, something closer to... _love?_ Castiel had no idea what to think; he did not know what these emotions even were or what to do with them. Should he have stayed to discuss this with Eliana? He closed his eyes, she would've laughed at him or rejected him... wouldn't she? Did he even know what rejection felt like yet? He knew it was supposed to hurt. He raised a palm to his face in exasperation, why was it so hard?

"Hey bro! I've been looking everywhere for you, you've been completely wiped from the radar, I thought you were dead!"

Castiel opened his eyes. In front of him stood one of his brothers, the archangel Gabriel. Gabriel was grinning at him as Castiel glared back at him, "maybe I did not wish to be found. Especially by the angels," he answered sharply.

Gabriel gave a snort of laughter, "you know me better than that Castiel! I have ways of getting round the angel's way of doing things," He raised his eyebrows conspiratorially, "if I wish to find someone, you can bet your bottom dollar that I'll find them. I just wanted a catch-up with my little brother, see where the end-of-the-world situation stands at the moment, you know how it is!" He casually strode over to Castiel to clap a hand happily on Castiel's shoulder. As his hand connected with Castiel, the grin faded from his face and shock replaced it.

"Woah... what happened to you?" Gabriel peered at Castiel, concern in his eyes. Castiel sighed, "my powers have been drained. I am no longer an angel."

"Seriously? How did _that _happen?"

Castiel smiled dryly before answering with one word, "Winchesters."

Gabriel chuckled and nodded slowly. "I could've guessed really... so what you up to now then? Still trying to save their asses?"

Castiel shrugged, "I am currently on a mission to help someone else."

"Who?" Gabriel prompted as it became apparent Castiel was not going to continue.

"Her name is Eliana." Castiel answered, trying not to reveal how he felt about Eliana in the slight cracking of his voice.

Gabriel whistled appreciatively, "my, my, little bro! Congrats!" He winked at Castiel. "So... she hot?" He added casually.

Castiel frowned at this question, "she remains at a moderate temperature."

Gabriel laughed merrily at this response, "What I mean is, do you like her? Wanna have a bit of fun if you know what I mean?" He winked again at Castiel.

Castiel considered the question before answering truthfully, "I... I do not know." He met Gabriel's eye, trying to appeal to him for some help. Gabriel looked back at him with astonishment written clearly on his face, "You got it bad haven't you?" He asked Castiel, who remained silent and too confused to answer.

After a brief pause Castiel said, "I was going to find her mother. Amina Hopewell."

"A prophet? You took a fancy to a prophet's daughter?" Gabriel's eyes widened.

Castiel ignored the question, "but I cannot find her mother, I do not have my powers. If I return Eliana will believe I am even more of a failure than I currently am." He hung his head in defeat.

"Well... I could help you. It's what brothers are for, after all... have you got something that her mother has touched?"

Castiel frowned and was about to shake his head in answer when he remembered the locket. Wincing, he also remembered how important it was to Eliana and how, thanks to him, she was now without it. Reluctantly he reached into a pocket and handed the necklace over to Gabriel.

His brother took it from him and closed his eyes, silently casting out his powers. After a moment's pause his eyes snapped open and focused on Castiel. "She's not far from here. Do you know the motel by the high school?" Castiel nodded, "That's where she's staying. Room 174." Gabriel handed back the locket with a smile, "Eliana will appreciate the gesture, trust me. Go get her tiger."

Gabriel turned to go as Castiel hurriedly asked, "How do I get to Amina without my powers?" He looked at Gabriel hopefully, maybe he could transport him now that Castiel could no longer do it himself.

Gabriel chuckled mischievously, "Take the bus" he answered before disappearing into thin air.

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**Ok, so a bit of a Cas POV chapter! (Well not exactly, but you get what I mean ahaha!)  
And I thought I'd add a bit of Gabe, coz he was totally my 2nd favourite angel and I miss him! (Although I do quite like Balthazar now...)  
I'm not sure if he'll pop up again in the story, have to see how I feel in future chapters...**

**Pleaaaaaaaaase review, it really means the world to me ;D  
Plus I found it kinda hard to write Cas' confusion... so input for the future is much welcomed (:  
****And most of all, enjoy! **


	13. Abandoned

I was completely numb. I just sat there, on the cold concrete, I could not move. He was gone, Castiel was really gone, and it was all my fault. I put my face in my hands, wanting to cry, but no tears would surface. Instead I just rocked back and forth, back and forth.

After what seemed like a century, I felt a gentle hand on my shoulder. "Go away." I mumbled into my hands. I didn't have the energy to see who it was.

"Eliana? We heard everything... I'm sorry." I recognized Sam's voice.

"S'alright." I answered, gently shrugging Sam's hand off my shoulder. I didn't want sympathy. I wanted people to care for me and stay. I didn't want to be abandoned all the time. My mother left, my dad possessed and Castiel forced away. Why did they all have to leave me here alone?

I felt Sam crouch down next to me but I pretended I couldn't tell he was there. Maybe he'd go away. He left a moment's pause before he tried again, "Eliana... Castiel needs to do this, he'll find your mother and then he'll be back. It'll be ok."

I lifted my head and glared at him. "How the hell do you know that?" I hissed, "He has no idea where she even is, and even if he did she won't want to help me. She made that pretty clear the day she walked out. Castiel didn't even take a weapon, what if..." I trailed off, not wanting to voice all the fears that were swimming in my imagination.

"Castiel can take care of himself. He always has. Sitting here won't be of any use to anyone, Eliana. We need to sort out a course of action... I need you to understand that, me and Dean, we'll sort out what's happening with your dad."

"I don't care anymore. Please just leave me alone." I buried my face into my knees, not wanting to show the desperation in my eyes. "I need to get used to it" I added dryly.

Sam sighed and got to his feet. "You are not alone, Eliana."

With that he walked away.

I don't know how much longer I sat there. I vaguely registered Sam or Dean bringing me food, but I refused to eat it. I could hear them whispering urgently to each other now and then, but I had no desire to eavesdrop. Probably discussing how to handle an emotional young woman. Soon I realised it had become dark in the warehouse, it was night-time. A whole day I had spent on the cold floor, not eating, not drinking, and barely even thinking.

I reached a hand automatically into my pocket for my locket, a habit I was accustomed to now. "Son-of-a-bitch!" I exclaimed loudly, springing to my feet. Sam and Dean both jumped at the sound of my voice; it was the first thing I had spoken since my conversation with Sam earlier. Sam walked over to me with a worried expression on his face, whilst Dean hovered curiously behind him.

"What's wrong, Eliana?" Sam asked, his brow furrowed with worry. I span to face him and spat, "he's taken my goddamn locket with him! The son-of-a-bitch never gave it back!"

Sam looked at Dean for help, who just shrugged. Sam frowned at me and half-tilted his head as he asked, "who, Eliana? What locket?"

I glared at him. "The sweet little angel stole my locket! It's mine! I..." I hung my head, "I need it. Keeps me sane" I mumbled.

Dean strode over and handed me a beer, "I think you could use this," he said as he held out the bottle. I swiped it and took a long swig, screwing up my face as the alcohol burned a trail down my throat. I let out a deep sigh and sank to the floor in defeat. I was emotionally exhausted. Sam towered over me, his height even more noticeable from this angle, and I took another long drink of Dean's beer. Sam glanced at his brother, "Dean? Could you go get us some more food?"

Dean met his brother's eye, looking as if he was going to argue, then he sighed as it became obvious Sam wasn't going to back down. "Fine," he sighed as he turned to head towards our makeshift kitchen, muttering to himself as he went.

Sam crouched down in front of me, and smiled at me. But the smile didn't quite reach his eyes, which were showing a wariness of me that he was obviously trying to conceal. I just glared at him as I continued to down the beer, daring him to break the silence. He watched me raise the beer once more and sighed. "Do you think drowning your sorrows is the best way to go?" He asked quietly, glancing pointedly at the bottle.

My eyes sank to the drink in my hand, and I clenched my jaw. "No," I answered, "but it's the best course of action I have right now." I took another long swig, daring Sam to tell me otherwise. He rubbed a hand across his mouth in exasperation and tried again, "Eliana, we _will_ save your father. Castiel _will _return, he's a surprisingly determined angel." He paused before adding, "He'll find your mother. Just trust him."

Angry tears overflowed down my cheeks, tears I desperately wanted to hold back. My mouth became a harsh line, "I don't trust _her._ Besides, anyone who leaves me never returns." I laughed humourlessly, "I must scare them off or something," I added as I drank once more from the bottle. My pain had ebbed away with each mouthful, and I was starting to feel less exhausted and more furious. How dare Castiel just walk out on me? How dare he add himself to the long list of family, friends and boyfriends who had just gone? I thought he was... more than that. I raised the bottle to my lips once more, then realised it was empty. I'd drunk it all. I stood up shakily; not wanting to meet Sam's concerned expression. He rose with me and held out a hand to grasp my arm as I stumbled a little. I hadn't eaten anything all day and the alcohol was going straight to my head.

"Eliana, I think you should get some rest. We'll discuss this in the morning when you've has a chance to sleep on it. Just remember, Dean and I are here for you. We'll help you as much as we can, and we have faith in Cas. He has not abandoned you," he smiled and added, "It's not his style."

I swayed as I fixed a scowl on Sam's face. "'Course he's abandoned me. I asked him to stay and he didn't. Plus he stole my damn locket. He knew that was personal."

Sam watched me carefully, as if I was a bomb about to explode at any second. "I'm sure he took it for a reason, maybe to perform some angel-mojo on it to help him find your mother. Surely that makes sense?" He shrugged at me hopefully. I shook my head vehemently in answer. "More likely gonna sell it. It's pure silver y'know." I added for no reason.

Sam sighed sadly. "Eliana, I know how you must be feeling but-"

"You know squat-all about how I am _feeling_!" I yelled as I hurled the empty bottle across the room. It shattered as it impacted with the floor. I glared at Sam, "your mother died, she didn't just leave with no warning and never want to even know you anymore, leaving you feeling unwanted and unloved. Your dad isn't possessed by some evil creature you never knew existed and made you suffer physical abuse in silence because somehow you knew the real dad was there somewhere. You weren't helpless or confused. You have parents and a brother who love you. You haven't had every single person you've ever become even _slightly_ close to, or have feelings for, scared away. Or driven away." I started to stride past Sam but he grabbed my elbow as I passed to stop me.

"My mom died. My dad died. Both killed by one of the evil creatures possessing your father. One of the bastards also killed my girlfriend, who I was planning on marrying. Dean and I can never be close to someone emotionally because they are in danger just by knowing us. Our line of work is dangerous and it means we can only ever have each other. So yes, I know what you are going through." He said, his voice low but not threatening. He wasn't angry with me, he just seemed intensely... sad.

I instantly felt guilty and extremely selfish, "Sam I..." I trailed off and just looked at him, my eyes wide with sorrow. Sam smiled forlornly and walked away to find Dean, leaving me to stumble over to my sleeping area and lie down, curling up tightly. I cried myself to sleep.

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**Ok so this is quite a long chapter for me!  
I hope you liked it (:  
Not a lot happens, but I wanted to show a bit more of Sam and have a proper go at his character... which failed but oh well, Sam is hard to write!**

**Review? **


	14. China Doll

**First things first, unfortunately I'll only have a slower internet connection for the next week or so... which means I won't be able to update for over a week :(  
But I will still get plenty of writing done, so please bear with me!  
anyways, hope you enjoy this chapter ;D**

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_Light. My eyes were closed, but I could sense some sort of light behind my eyelids. Is that what woke me up? I do not want to open my eyes, scared of what I might discover. I drew a shaky breath, opened my eyes carefully, slowly. A ray of a muffled light was shining through a nearby window. The ray was disrupted by a shape. A figure. Who? I hauled my body into a sitting position, feeling as if I was moving through treacle. I peered carefully into the darkness. The shape seemed familiar. I let out a silent gasp. Was it Castiel? Had he returned? _

"_Castiel?" I whispered into the black. I was unsure and yet... strangely certain._

"_I am sorry Eliana. I have failed you."_

"_What do you mean?" _

"_I cannot say. Just please stay where you are. Do not come and find me, just leave it alone. It is done."_

"_Cas? I... I don't even know where you are! Did you find my mother?" I noticed a sense of hope had slipped into my voice at the question, a hope that sent a violent shock through me. Did this mean I cared if he found her or not?_

"_Yes," was the only answer Castiel gave me._

"_W-what? You found her? Where is she, where are you? Is..." I drew a shaky breath and asked, "Is she alive?"_

"_Yes she is alive and well. You will see her again Eliana, I can guarantee it. Now please wake up and forget about this. The sound of your voice was the only slither of comfort I needed." He spoke matter-of-factly, as if discussing something as trivial as the weather, "I shall be stronger now." I realised Castiel had carefully avoided revealing his whereabouts. Why did he not want to be found? Did he not wish to see me again? A suprising stab of hurt flashed through my chest at this thought. I knew I wanted to see him again, there was not a moments doubt at that._

_I dragged my mind back to the conversation, my feelings were clear now. I could not let Castiel be out there alone. I wanted to be with him... no, I _needed_ to be with him. _"_No." I replied firmly, hesitating slightly before adding, "Unless... can you guarantee I'll see you again?"_

_His silence was the only answer I needed. Tears pricked at my eyes as I shook my head violently back and forth, "please Castiel, tell me where you are. Me and the Winchesters will come and find you. I have to see you again, tell you...that I'm sorry."_

"_I know that already Eliana." He replied softly and I detected a smile in his voice. Again he avoided my plea. I took a step towards him, deciding that I needed to see his face, that I needed to show him what I was feeling as words were obviously not enough, when I stepped on something. I crouched down to see the item better in the gloomy light. It was a china doll, wearing a green dress. Her beautiful porcelain face had been shattered down the one side, but the one blue eye that stared unseeing up at me was very familiar. I slowly stood up and for the first time looked around at my surroundings, suddenly realising I was not at the warehouse like I assumed I was. _

"_Eliana?" Castiel asked into the darkness, concerned at my sudden silence._

_My eyes were wide, "I know where you are," came my reply._

I awoke with a jolt. The warehouse was still in darkness, it had to be the early hours of the morning. I fumbled around my sleeping area for my torch and hastily clicked it on. Stumbling over to where Sam and Dean were sleeping, I shone the ray of light directly into Dean's eyes, waiting for him to respond to the light and wake up.

"What the-?" Dean stirred agitatedly and shot up into a sitting position, brandishing a gun he had grabbed from under his pillow. I hadn't bargained on this kind of reaction, so I directed the light at Sam, so Dean could see it was me. If looks could kill, then I would've been six feet under.

"Don't think I won't shoot you just 'cause Cas has taken a fancy to you. Or because you're a girl. I still might." Dean muttered angrily as Sam stirred slowly and groggily seeked Dean out for some kind of explanation, "huh? Wha's goin' on?" He slurred, not quite as alert as his brother was.

"Morning guys!" I announced loudly, before heading back to my sleeping area now that I had their attention. I received equally severe glares from both of the men as their eyes carefully followed me cross the warehouse floor.

"Seriously, Eliana? What the hell?" Dean demanded, apparently he was not a morning person. I noticed the gun was still firmly clutched in his hand, although it was no longer pointing at me.

"I know where Castiel is." I answered, getting straight to the point, "We have to go and get him as soon as we can, I think... I think he's in trouble" The smile faded from my lips as I listened to my own words. They were true weren't they? Cas said I would never see him again. I could _not _let that be true.

"How do you know that? Start from the beginning." Sam asked, resting his head sleepily on a propped elbow.

"I had a dream, and Castiel was in it. He was telling me that he'd found my mother, and that I would see her again sometime." I swallowed, "but he wouldn't tell me if I'd see _him_ again, just that I was not to find him. He was very adamant about that."

Dean frowned, "so how do you know where he is then?"

"Well, then I stepped on something, the face of a broken china doll on the floor, she had blue eyes and a velvety green dress. That doll's name is Clarissa; I've had her since I was about 5 years old." Sam opened his mouth to respond to this but I cut him off, "So then I took notice of my surroundings... It was dark, very dark, but I'm pretty sure we were in my old barn. Back at home."


	15. Preparation

**I'm so sorry this took so long :(  
And that it's such a crap chapter... but I've just been so overwhelmed with Uni work I've had no time to write!  
Hope you enjoy it anyways!  
And as always, reviews greatly appreciated (: **

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"You do realise this is a trap, don't you?" Sam asked me suddenly from where he sat on an old chest of drawers. It was an hour after I'd told them where Castiel was and I was itching to get out there and find him. Sam and Dean didn't share the same sense of urgency, preferring to plan everything first and try and cover as many possible risks as possible.

"Sammy's right, Eliana. Cas didn't wanna tell you where he was for a reason, because he didn't want you to find him." Dean added.

"I don't care." I matched Dean's gaze evenly, "I have to save him. This is my responsibility and if you don't want to help, I'm not asking you to. I can do this alone." I spun on my heel to walk away when Dean grabbed my elbow to stop me from getting far.

"Wait, Eliana. We never said you had to do this alone, Sam and I wouldn't dream of leaving you to sort this out by yourself." He eyes dropped to the floor, "Cas is just as important to us as he is to you. Of _course_ we want to find him; we just don't want to risk his life and yours by rushing in blindly." He shrugged, "plus we believe Cas can look after himself better than you can, despite his lack of powers."

I faltered, starting to see the sense in his words. Who was I kidding? I couldn't do anything alone. Slowly, reluctantly, I nodded.

Dean clapped his hands together and grinned encouragingly at me. "Right," he announced, "where is this barn of yours?"

"Not far from here," I answered, my voice incredibly small, "it's just by the park, a few blocks away from this warehouse."

"So what's the layout of your house and barn then?" Sammy asked from his perch.

"There's the house, it's not very big, just big enough for me and my dad. Then you go through the side gate and round to the back, where there's a small field. And the barn." I looked at them, not even attempting to hide my tortured expression. "Can we just go? I can't let anything happen... I have to help him." A silent tear slid down my cheek and I felt too numb to wipe it away, instead letting it hover on my chin for a second before falling gracefully onto my shoulder.

Sam and Dean glanced at each other, as if silently communicating, before Sam turned to me and nodded.

We headed outside to the Impala, none of us feeling much like talking, all lost amongst our own maze of thoughts. When we reached the Impala I headed towards the back passenger door, but Dean placed a hand softly on my shoulder, "wait," he said, "just let me give you a quick defence lesson first." He smiled at me and headed towards the trunk of the car, leaving me gazed despondently after him for a long minute before slowly following.

As I walked to Dean he was reaching into the trunk, which had already been propped open with a shotgun. I was momentarily jolted out of my numbness as I gasped at the sight before me. Weapons of all size, shape and type were scattered everywhere with no sense of organization. However each and every one was united in their lethality. There were odd items too, objects my mind could not place a use for, and bottles of water adding an unfitting tone of normality. Without knowing what I was doing my hand stretched out towards this heap of weaponry. Dean swiftly grasped my hand to stop me, "nobody touches the guns without a little bit of training first," he reproached gently.

"Sorry," I mumbled, still not taking my eyes of the contents of the trunk. Dean nodded before returning his attention to the weapons as he reached in and took out a shotgun. I felt almost disappointed that I wasn't given an engraved dagger or wooden stake.

"Have you used a gun before?" Dean asked matter-of-factly, still wary of handing the weapon to me. I shrugged, "my dad taught me a few years back, but I've made a habit of staying away from them." I chuckled softly.

"So you know the basics?" Dean asked again, I nodded in answer.

"Good," he announced, "this works just like any shotgun, but it won't kill a demon. It _will_ stun them for a second though, so you can make a getaway." He proffered the gun to me. Hesitantly I took it from him and pumped the shotgun purposefully, it was ready for use. Dean grinned and pulled out a flask. "This," he handed it over for my inspection, "is holy water. Just throw some at them and it gives them instant burns. Very effective," he added with a chuckle. I pocketed the flask, making sure it was secured tightly so I wouldn't spill it all over myself. Finally Dean handed me a bag. Carefully I peered inside; it contained what looked like salt. "That is salt," Dean confirmed my observation, "another effective way of holding off demons." He clapped his hands together and closed the trunk as I placed the bag in my other pocket.

"Sammy and I also have a gun and a dagger that can actually kill the sons-of-bitches, but unfortunately we only have the two, so can you make do with just wounding them? Stick with either me or Sam if you're unsure and you'll be perfectly safe." Dean turned to smile encouragingly at me, "any questions?"

I looked at him, completely overwhelmed. I shifted my shotgun into a more comfortable holding position and swallowed, "this is it I guess?" I asked quietly.

Dean nodded gravely in answer.

Together with my shotgun, flask and salt bag I clambered into the back of the Impala and Dean sped off, gravel thrown everywhere. I closed my eyes and leaned my head against the cool glass of the car window as the enormity of the situation hit me. This could be my last journey. I was rushing off to save some guy, knowing that I could die in the process. However I also knew that if I did die, it would be worth it. Castiel would be safe.

I frowned to myself. Never before had I been so willing to sacrifice myself for anyone other than my dad, but now I may have to injure, maybe even kill my father, to save this angel. To ironically save my father. For I knew that there was no way I was letting the demon stay in my dad. He either left, or I had no choice. Panic made my heart race faster as this realization sunk in. It was not only me who could die here. This could be the end for any one of us. It could be the end of Cas, despite my reckless efforts to save him.

I wanted to sleep, but I was almost scared of the possibility of what I could see in my dreams. Did I want to see Cas? Could I bear it if that was the last time I saw him?

As these thoughts swam in my head, the decision was made for me. As the Impala sped on I slipped into a dreamless sleep, my reality more than enough for my unconscious state to currently cope with.


	16. Rescue

**I AM SO SORRY FOR THE DELAY!  
I meant to update before Christmas but then it just got so crazy busy with the Christmas rush and finishing Uni work to hand in that I just ran out of time :'(**

**BUT I'M BACK!  
And I hope this chapter was even slightly worth the wait ;/  
Enjoy! **

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"Eliana? Wake up, we're here."

Sleepily Sam's voice dragged me back to consciousness. I opened my eyes and saw my house in the distance; Dean had parked just a few yards away from the driveway. I gave a small sigh before forcing my unresponsive body into action. I sat up and gathered my items, checking the shotgun was ready to go. I could feel my flask and salt bag tap against my hip from within my pockets, I was ready.

We all clambered out of the Impala and headed towards the house.

"Dean and I will go slightly ahead," Sam whispered urgently, "we're guessing the place will be crawling with demons. You'll follow after, and you're to avoid all fights, no matter what you see, you understand? Just slip straight through and find Cas. We'll follow as soon as we can, ok?"

Numbly I nodded, my brain barely able to comprehend his words. It all seemed almost like a dream, this couldn't be happening.

Sam and Dean smiled grimly before clutching their weapons more tightly and strongly. Then they crept hurriedly down the side of the house, towards the barn, leaving me staring after them.

A few moments later, what felt like years standing there in the cold, I took a deep breath and followed. I gripped my shotgun as tightly as I could, but my hands were sweaty and it felt unstable, like it would slip out of my grasp at any second. I could feel the flask knocking ominously against my hip from inside its pocket. My steps were unsteady and it was doubtful if my knees would even hold out until I reached the barn. How embarrassing it would be to collapse before I even reached the action, I thought. I wanted to laugh at this, but I knew it was only terrified hysteria setting in.

I shook my head to clear these stupid thoughts and placed my feet my more certainly on the ground, one after the other. In what seemed like no time at all I had reached the huge foreboding shape that was now blocking the sun. My barn.

Cautiously I walked through the already open door, wishing my eyes would adjust themselves to the darkness quicker. Suddenly a gunshot made me give out a small scream of surprise as I automatically gripped my own shotgun tighter. I stood completely still, trying to listen for anything else, but all I could hear was my frantic breathing. I took a step forward, nearly collapsing with fear from a loud crunching sound as I stepped on shards of glass.

"Get a grip, Eliana" I muttered to myself as I carried on, determined not to let my fear get to me. I had a job to do. Carefully I edged forward, trying to figure out a rushed plan of action in my head. The barn was mainly split into two parts, the room I was in at the moment and the major space at the back of the building. All of the action must have gravitated to this other larger room. There was also a small office-type room off to the side of the main space, and I figured that this would be the most reasonable place to hold a hostage. This was my destination.

I took a deep breath and strode towards the main room; I had to face whatever was in there. I had no choice. I shifted my gun into a firing position, ready for anything behind the door, and entered the main space.

Chaos greeted me. About 7 demons were in there, with Sam and Dean in the thick of it. 5 bodies lay dead on the floor. I couldn't see my father. I could see the door to the office, it was in easy reach, but I couldn't just leave Sam and Dean when they were so outnumbered. I headed towards them, wanting to help in any way I could, when a hand grabbed me and slammed me into a nearby wall. My head reverberated with pain as it connected with the solid surface, and an arm flew up to crush my windpipe. I gasped for air as I was slowly lifted off the ground, my feet feebly kicking against the wall. I couldn't see my attacker; my vision was blurred from my head injury and rapidly deteriorating supply of oxygen. My shotgun clattered to the floor as I was unable to hold it anymore. I gave in to the blackness creeping into my vision. Suddenly I felt a huge release as the arm was removed from my windpipe, I crashed to the floor coughing and gasping for more air. I grabbed my gun and looked up ready to shoot whoever was there, but relaxed when I saw Dean looking down at me. The body of the demon that had attacked me lay close to where I was crouched on the floor. Taking the hand Dean offered me, I shakily rose to my feet.

"We told you to get out of the way." Dean said, his voice low as his eyes never left my face. I met his glare defiantly, "Yeah, well you're clearly outnumbered and I thought I could help" I responded with a small, apologetic smile. Dean sighed in answer, as a shape came up from behind him and violently flung him sideways. I was face to face with another demon, his jet black eyes glaring at me.

"Well look at what the cat dragged in! Daddy's on the search for you, he figured you wouldn't be far behind the chuckle brothers here." He sneered, lazily waving a hand in Dean's direction.

"Tell him I'm ready for him" I replied coolly, not giving in to the panic rising from my stomach.

The demon laughed harshly and leaned towards me, his face just inches from mine. "I won't have to tell him. I'm gonna wrap you and deliver you to him myself... after I've had my bit of fun first" He casually stroked a knife blade down my cheek. I closed my eyes and blindly shot my gun in the direction of the demon. I heard him screech with surprise as the force of the blast jolted all down my arm and slammed me backwards into the wall.

"Eliana, go!" I glanced at Dean who was slowly standing up and raising his knife into an offensive position. I nodded at him and shoved past the surprised demon, deftly dodging his attempts to grab me. I barrelled forward, straight towards the office door, clutching my gun tightly in case of another task.

Wildly I grabbed for the door handle and opened it, blindly rushing inside and slamming it behind me. I was facing the closed door, and wearily lay my forehead against the wood, trying to catch my breath.

"Eliana. What are you doing here?" A voice behind me made me spun round, my gun poised. The first thing I saw was the flames along the floor. Instinctively I stepped backwards, but then I realised they weren't spreading. They were shaped into a perfect circle and, inside that circle, stood Castiel.

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**I apologize for the dissapointing return (I suck at action writing) BUT I promise the next chapter is a whole lot better (:**


	17. Love?

**Sorry for the wait again! Started Uni again y'see ;/  
Anywhoo, just want to say a HUGE thank you to J. Austin (ImNaturallySuper on Youtube) who made this amazing vid to my fanfic, everyone go watch it - way better than my writing hahaa! youtube . com ****/watch?v=YOXhrPv-G54 (I had to put gaps in the URL coz FanFic kept messing it up!)**

**Enjoy this chapter! And reviews much appreciated (:**

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"Cas?" I whispered, slowly stepping closer to this ring of fire, "are you ok?"

"I am fine." He answered me curtly, "but I told you not to come here." A flicker of pain flashed across his expression. I felt hurt. Surely he would want to see me again? Maybe the time had come where I had to accept that my feelings for him were one-sided. After all, angels can't feel emotions can they?

I knelt down as close to the fire as I could, barely even feeling the intense heat that was hitting my face and body. I just needed to be closer. Bowing my head to the floor I mumbled, "I thought you would be pleased to see me, I just wanted to save you Cas." I couldn't say anymore, my voice couldn't withstand it. I could sense him hesitate, unsure of how to reply. Then slowly, awkwardly, he began to kneel opposite me from inside his circle.

"Of course I am pleased to see you, but this is not what happens. This cannot be how it happens."

I raised my confused face to meet his eyes, but he was avoiding my gaze. "What do you mean?" I asked. He shook his head with the tiniest of movements and simply replied, "I cannot say."

"Cas-"

"Please, Eliana," He finally met my eyes and I could clearly see the unhappiness in his blue gaze, "just please stop asking."

I nodded silently, dumbfounded. Castiel tilted his head and frowned at me, then almost had to force out his next words, "Eliana... I have something I need to ask. Something I do not understand."

I chuckled softly, Cas was quite clearly struggling with something, "hit me" I answered with a reassuring smile.

Castiel's frown deepened as he looked pointedly at the flames, "I cannot touch you with this fire in the way. And I have been informed that it is incorrect to hit female humans."

I laughed loudly, the first since Cas had vanished, and it felt nice to feel laughter again. "No, I meant hit me with your question! Ask me whatever it is that's on your mind," I told him with a grin.

He nodded determinedly and took a deep breath; he was almost what I would define as _nervous._"What... what does love feel like?" His gaze was innocently earnest as he looked at me, I could tell he was intensely confused.

"_Love?"_ I echoed, the word escaped my lips as a whisper. When Castiel just nodded forlornly, I raised my eyebrows and let out a small whistle.

"Wow, Cas... where did that come from?"

"Please just answer, Eliana. I need to know and..." he cast his eyes around, as if looking for inspiration on how to finish his sentence, "and you're the only person I feel I can ask." His blue gaze connected with mine, unblinking. Suddenly I knew how to answer.

"Love is... when you'd hurl yourself off the topmost building for someone, someone who makes you feel complete and understands you more than you know your own self. When you feel like you're drowning but you desperately welcome the wonderful exhilaration of the water, when you can happily just watch the world speed by together without uttering a word, and feel at total peace. But love is so much more than that, it's the small mannerisms in a person that you come to adore, it's when you know who to turn to when you're scared, desolate or just need that shred of human comfort, and this person knows exactly how to deal with these feelings you have," I gave a small smile to hide my sudden embarrassment, "It's the person who makes you feel _alive."_

Castiel had silently watched me through this whole speech, not a flicker of any emotion betraying his response to my words. I let out a small chuckle, "but that's just my opinion" I finished lamely, "everyone is different of course."

Cas nodded slowly, realising I had finished. I desperately tried to read some sort of emotion behind that mask his face always held, but as usual I could glean nothing from his expression.

"Well, Eliana... I think..." he frowned at the floor, for once he seemed uncomfortable and unable to meet my gaze, "that is a lot to absorb."

My mouth formed a small half-smile of affection at his bluntness. He was still frowning as he asked, "How do you know this? Have you been in love?"

I felt overwhelmingly glad that he continued to glare at the floor and could not see the creeping blush spreading across my face. _Not until I met you,_ I wanted to say, but instead I just shrugged and replied, "I... I just hear it from other people, y'know?" I coughed awkwardly and propped my head up in my hands, "why do you ask?"

"When I was an angel, I could not feel... _anything._ I did not notice it of course; I just believed that it made me a better soldier." He shook his head slowly, "I did not know what I was missing."

"What's it like? Not feeling anything?"

Castiel paused, considering his answer. "It made it easier to make a decision, without a heart to rule the head. However it also makes us cruel beings, unremorseful. Never having the want to stop and debate our actions, just going forward and following orders without needing to consider the moral implications. I think I always knew, deep down, that I was destined for something different. That is why I rebelled."

We sat there for a few moments, each contemplating his words. Then I took a deep breath, "what do you feel now?" My voice was barely a whisper; I was scared of what his answer would be. I closed my eyes, why should I care? But I knew why I cared. I just did not want to admit it.

Castiel finally raised his eyes to my face and our eyes connected, and I _knew._

"Castiel, the Winchesters are here, this was not part of the plan! They were supposed to be keeping her safe and out of the way."

I jumped at the new voice, hastily trying to scramble for my shotgun where I'd dropped it a way away from where I was sat. I stumbled to my feet and raised the weapon, attempting to look threatening.

"Eliana? Oh God, you were not meant to be here, how did you...?"

The woman's face was still familiar, even after all these years, and it was still as beautiful. She whipped her head round to look at Castiel in confusion, her long brown curls cascading elegantly round her shoulders, so much more controlled than my own unruly head of hair. She was smaller than I remembered (or I'd grown), and tears welled into my eyes as my heart suddenly felt like it was going to burst.

"Mum?"


	18. Confusion

**I know it's unbelievably late again!  
But in 3 weeks I'll have finished Uni for the summer so the writing should get back on track (and hopefully more frequent updates!)  
Coming close to the end of this story now, hopefully you've been enjoying it and please review (:  
Also a huge thank you to Jane (.net/~jaustin) for volunteering to be my beta reader! ;D **

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"Sweetie?" My mum smiled at me. I realized I had dreamt of seeing that smile for so many years. "You've grown! You're so beautiful now." She started to approach me, tears shining in her eyes as she reached a hand outward towards my face. Without meaning to, I flinched. Instantly, she withdrew her hand and it fell limply to her side.

"I understand sweetheart." Her voice was a whisper that seemed to float around me, unable to break through the fog of confusion and emotions surrounding me.  
"I just need you to know that I am sorry for...everything. I had to do it for your own safety." Her mouth twitched into a small smile, her eyes expectant. Was she waiting for the bittersweet reunion? Right now all I could feel was bitter, no matter how hard I tried to focus on the sweet. Slowly, but firmly, I shook my head.

"Eliana, it was not your mother's fault. She told me everything." Cas' deep voice made me jump – my overwhelmed brain had made me forget my own surroundings. My mother shot Cas a warning look. What did that mean? Then she turned back to me, a welcoming smile returning to her face, as if I hadn't just seen that exchange between them.  
I raised my chin and fought hard against the urge to run towards her, to be enveloped in that smile. _No_. I met her gaze with a steely one of my own and demanded something of her in return, "What does he mean?" Not even the slightest quiver crept into my voice.

Instantly her smile wavered, but she quickly gained control again. "Nothing sweetie, just that I never meant to hurt you, that's all." I glanced over at Cas, who was watching our exchange with an expression of mild confusion. I turned my back on my mother and faced Cas, taking a few steps closer to him - as close as I could get with the fire shielding us from each other. "What's going on, Castiel?" I asked. My voice was close to a whisper. I knew it was cruel to ask him, yet I knew he wouldn't lie to me, and I needed to know. Time was running out.

"Your mother had a prophecy when you were younger, a prophecy involving you. Although most prophets have visions based around God, sometimes they will see things close to their heart – like family members in danger." A trace of something deeper flickered across his face as he spoke and I knew then he had to be referring to me and not my father.  
"Please Cas, tell me everything."

"NO!" I flinched as my mother shouted at me.

At the same time she spoke the door to the room we were enclosed in flung open. The battle that had been raging on without us outside was thrown into the forefront of my thoughts again. Sam and Dean exploded into the room, both wide eyed and covered in blood. Just then Sam was flung across the room and slammed into the wall to our left with a sickening thud. He slithered to the floor, unmoving. Dean whipped about, his knife raised as he carefully edged backwards into the room to get a better angle on Sam's attacker. It was as if time had turned to treacle; Dean stepping into the room and my mother's muffled scream as she clapped her hands over her mouth when she saw our attacker revealed. Yet my own pained cry when I saw my dad swagger into the room seemed to echo the loudest.

"Stop it!" My mother yelled as she sprang, like a unfurling coil, at Dean. "Put the weapon down, that's my husband!"

Dean sidestepped her attack, deftly holding her back whilst never turning away from my father. "No," Dean muttered, "that's a demon. The only reason I haven't killed him yet is because he's Eliana's father. I take it you're her mother?"  
My mother just nodded and retreated away from Dean and my dad, shock etched into every line her expression, yet I couldn't feel any sympathy for her.  
"Amina, my darling! The light of my life, the Juliet to my Romeo!" My dad drawled at my mother, taunting her as she visibly shook with fear. I wanted to tell her to stop, to never show him she was afraid, but I knew I had to remain silent. The demon stepped confidently towards Dean and my mother, and I saw that Dean was subtly edging round to get closer to Sam. He was worried.  
"Dean, give me the knife. This is my problem, you help Sam." I could see Dean hesitate, but when he took in the grim set of my jaw he knew better than to argue with me. He slid the knife towards me across the floor while I aimed my gun at my father, daring him to make a move, any move. Quickly I grabbed the knife, while still grasping the gun in my other hand. Dean attended to Sam, however I could tell he still had one eye on the unfurling family drama before him. I sneaked a quick glance at Cas to my side and he was staring, completely defeated, at the floor. He wasn't used to not knowing what to do. My heart went out to him.

As my attention was distracted for a second, I looked back to see my mother slowly walking towards my dad as if she was in a trance. With a pang of emotion I realized how this must feel to her – being reunited with the man she loved after over a decade without him. Seeing that he had become a monster.  
Suddenly the demon lunged at my mother and wrapped his arm tight around her neck as he turned her to face me, holding her hostage. His grin was wicked and he held my gaze knowing I was powerless to do anything. Dean sprang to his feet next to me.  
"A family reunion!" The demon exclaimed with glee as his spiteful gaze rested on Cas, "And the parents getting to meet the boyfriend! How splendid."  
"Who the hell are you? You're not my husband! Let me go!" My mother pleaded as she tried to squirm away from my father's iron hard grip. He squeezed his arm on her neck hard, making her gasp with pain, then lowered his face to her pale cheek. He ran his nose down the length of that cheek and then kissed it as my mother was unable to move away. Her face contorted with disgust and helplessness.  
"You son-of-a-bitch let her go and ditch that meat suit. It's not yours." Dean's voice was threatening as he raised the second demon-killing knife that he had taken from Sam.

My dad raised his eyebrows at Dean in mock surprise, "Sorry sugar, no can do. You see, my little princess here will stop you from killing me, which is just how I like it. There is something to be said for invincibility." He winked at me and I felt physically sick.  
I raised my chin in what I hoped was defiance, "I will kill you if I have to." I had intended to sound threatening, but as the words fell from my lips I could tell that I only sounded like I felt. A helpless little girl. I tried to clear my throat and make my voice firmer, "Let my mum go and just tell me what you want."  
My dad scratched his head with his free hand, as if deeply puzzled. "Well honey... I guess I just want you, your visions are something us demons are greatly interested in, an actual child of a prophet! We want to know what makes you tick. Although now I have your mother too! What a bargain." He sneered at me as he slowly stroked my mother's hair.  
"You can have me, I won't fight you, but let her go. Now." I demanded, strength returning to my voice.  
The demon sighed, as if I was just a young child not fully understanding a simple problem from her maths book. "Look, I'm not giving up the two of you now that I have you both. If you want her back, you'll have to kill me. Simple as that." He shrugged arrogantly and raised his eyebrows, as if in challenge.

I narrowed my eyes at his threat, "Fine."

"NO!" Cas' loud cry startled me, and I spun round to face him.  
"What? I can't exorcize him!" My eyes connected with Cas' as I sent him a silent plea for help, "I don't know what to do Cas," I whispered.  
Cas just held my gaze and gave a short shake of his head. "This is... this is not supposed to happen. You cannot kill your father."  
I did not fully understand his words but I could feel he was trying to put all his feeling in them, which broke my heart. How could I go against Cas' wishes when it meant so much to him? After a short pause, I gave a small nod to Cas and unshared thoughts transpired between us with that one small action and I knew he understood. Then I turned back to my father.

"You know what?" My father asked with a false yawn. "I'm bored of this."

What happened next I would never forget. The demon fixed me with one last stare, and I felt tears well in my eyes as I stared back at that all too familiar face. Wrinkles were etched around his forehead and eyes, a clear sign of what the demon was doing to him – they weren't there before all this. Yet what most struck me were his eyes, his hazel eyes that had always been an almost perfect mirror image of my own. Now they were unrecognizable, a hard mean glint infected them, as if his conscience was no longer intact. He raised his free arm and clearly announced, "Prove it."

I felt the power that flowed through his arm as he directed his upraised palm in the direction of the ring of fire. I watched in utter horror as the flames grew and rose angrily. I would never forget Castiel's muffled cry of pain and shock as the flames hungrily imploded into the circle, engulfing him.


	19. I Will Make You Hurt

All I could seem to focus on was a single bead of sweat threading its path down the centre of my back. It was distracting. It was comforting. It shielded me from the realization of my situation. I did not want to think about what had caused that bead, the overpowering heat of the inferno behind me as it engulfed Castiel.

My eyes were tightly shut but I could hear faint noises. The surprised yell from Dean, the distinct chuckle from the demon, the muffled cry from Cas. _What was I doing? _How could I just stand here as Castiel burned? I spun on my heel to face the inferno and was overwhelmed by the heat coming from the towering fire. Cas was in there, I had no time to lose. I flung myself into the flames after him, refusing to acknowledge all the natural instincts fighting to keep me safe.

"NO!"

"Eliana!"

Dean's deep bark and my mother's heart-breaking cry echoed after me as I felt the flames entwine around my arms and lick at my legs. I closed my eyes, wanting to cry, but the tears instantly evaporated in the heat. As I blindly flailed around trying to reach Cas, find Cas, save Cas, my mind turned inwards as I contemplated what I was doing. Despite the situation I was in I always reverted to my protective status – escaping into my maze of thoughts.

Why was I doing this? Why was I instinctively jumping into the frying pan for a guy I hardly knew? Why did I fully accept the chance I will either die or be seriously maimed doing this... and not care? Castiel was important to me. More important than either of us were willing to admit, and now it was too late. If this crazy rescue plan even came close to being successful, which was highly unlikely, I was drilling into that stupid angel's head what love was. And that I felt it... for him.

Suddenly my mind was ripped away from its inner turmoil as the pain of my outer turmoil became too much to block out. In that same moment my fingers brushed against something solid amongst the flames. It had to be Cas... his body. I shook the thought out of my head and concentrated on achieving a firmer grip on him. I couldn't open my eyes due to the blinding heat and fire but I outstretched both hands and gripped tightly on what must have been his trench-coat. Then I heaved with all the strength I could muster. Adrenaline was pumping through me, circulating energy and strength and I could feel Cas moving. Inch by inch I blindly pulled him towards me and after what felt like hours I finally reached the cool air outside of the inferno. I wanted to keep my eyes shut and save myself from the horror of my reality but I had to witness the extent of the damage. The trench-coat was black and covered in ash. I couldn't see Castiel's face as he was turned away but I didn't need to. He wasn't moving. That's all I needed to know.

"Oh dear, oh dear. Now there's something you don't see every day. Barbecued angel. Probably tastes yummy though with some ketchup." A harsh chuckle came from behind me as the demon spoke. The demon who had done this to my Castiel and who had effectively killed my father. I felt my fists clench and an angry hiss emanated from my very soul. My height seemed to increase by inches as I turned to fix a deathly stare on the creature that I would no longer associate with my father. My dad would never hurt me like this, _destroy_ me like this, and I hated that he was being forced to do these things to me. I could not take it any longer. All logic had flown from my mind as I felt deep cracks shatter my soul. I was hurting.

Without being aware of what I was doing, the sound of Castiel's painful cry as the fire engulfed him still ringing in my head, I grabbed the knife that I had dropped on the floor during my rescue mission. I could not even feel the rough flesh of the handle as I gripped it tight. Numbness had taken over my body, my actions – I was no longer in control. What scared me was that I did not mind.

"What are you doing, girl? Surely you wouldn't kill your own father?" The demon asked me. I raised my eyes to his in shock, as if for the first time registering his existence. I could not respond to the taunt hidden behind his eyes, I met them with a blank stare of my own. I had no emotion left... or I just was not ready to feel it yet.

I barely even remember what happened next. All I know is that a sudden burst of anger controlled me as I plunged the knife deep into the demon's neck. Although it didn't feel like me - something inside felt that I should be the one releasing a shocked yell. But that was coming from my mother. I should be the one trying to avert my arm. But that was Dean. An orange light flickered from the wound and the last thing I saw before the demon's body crumpled to the floor was his dazed stare.

Suddenly my legs gave way as I crashed to the floor next to the body. A loud clang ripped through my head as the knife clattered to the floor and an ear-splitting scream escaped from me as all the emotion exploded out of my body. The floodgates had opened as I was on all fours and I lowered my forehead to the ground, racking sobs being wrenched from my heart. Finally I could _feel, _and now I would have given anything to go back to numbness.

"Sweetie?" My mother's voice cracked on the word as I felt her come towards me. I violently jerked myself away and a chilling cold settled into my bones as the fire calmed. Numbly I crawled my way over to where Cas was lying, motionless. I never once looked back at the demon but I felt my mum change direction from me and collapse on her husband's body. My eye caught Dean's as he gave me a worried glance. My eyes tiredly trailed away from him and back to the floor and I heard his attention turn to Sam.

"Castiel, I'm so sorry." I whispered as I reached Cas. I could see he was badly burnt, his trench coat covered in ash. I couldn't tell if he was even still breathing. Did angels breathe?

I reached out towards him and placed my hands on his chest. I could not bear to turn his head towards me and see the full extent of the damage. All I knew was he still was not moving. The trench coat was charred in many places and I refused to imagine what his face would be like – that emotionless, permanently perplexed, beautiful face.

That is when the dam finally broke. A haunting wail escaped from lips as the tears poured from my eyes. My head hung as my outstretched arms grasped handfuls of Castiel's coat. I gently rocked back and forth, still clinging onto Cas, wanting to feel him – but not have to see his lifeless body. I did not care what happened anymore. I had killed my own father and my love had died. Surely this was the end. I was kneeling next to Cas, using his body as support. Even now he was the one keeping me standing and together with his solidity. Except maybe I would never be _together_ anymore. I certainly felt that I had been ripped in two, never to be repaired.

Finally I couldn't keep like this so I collapsed onto Castiel and buried my face deep into the folds of his coat. The smell of charred clothing hung to my nostrils but I did not care. I held onto him tightly, trying to get as close to him as I physically could – to absorb him. Then I took a deep breath and faced what terrified me the most. I lifted my head and slowly, gently, reached out to place my hand tentatively on the side of Castiel's face. I shuffled towards him so I was directly leaning over his head and carefully turned it to face me.

Another whine flew from me at what I saw. His face was perfectly fine, except that it was deathly pale and his eyes were closed. Maybe I could convince myself he was sleeping. A fresh flood of tears trailed down my face as I stroked his cheek tenderly. There was no response.

Finally it really got through – Castiel was not alive. I let out a dreadful howl as this realization finally seemed to reach me. I could not support myself anymore and I fully collapsed onto Castiel. I gave him a kiss on his forehead, a kiss flooded with my tears, before lowering my head into his shoulder as I curled up next to him. I was never leaving his side. I had nothing to leave for.

"Eliana?"

A small but deep croak penetrated my misery. Was I imagining things? Surely I was. However curiosity and denial got the better of me as I raised myself up, knowing that it would just release a fresh wave of pain as my imagination started to overcome me.

Because it _had_ to be my imagination that saw two beautiful blue eyes staring up at me, utterly confused. That expression that I knew so well – that made my heart almost explode out of me as I realized it was not my imagination. _Castiel was alive._

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**Ok, so that was an epic long chapter!**

**We're getting closer to the end now *sad face*! Hopefully people have enjoyed my first attempt at a fic (so far) and any improvements/ comments for future stories are much appreciated (:**

**Side trivia - when writing the line "I was hurting" Johnny Cash's song Hurt starting playing on my playlist, and then when Eliana's thinking about having killed her dad Glee's "Get It Right" started playing - the first line being "What have I done?" LOL o.O**

**Anywhoo! *cough*  
Please review, any comment is appreciated and helps me to continue writing! And I really hope you enjoyed it (: (: **


	20. Acceptance

"Eliana? Are you there?" Again Castiel's deep voice, stronger now, tugged at my heart. I lowered my face closer to his, "Yes, Castiel. I've always been here." A huge smile of disbelief blossomed across my face as my tears transformed into ones of utter joy. His blue eyes kept closing under the strain, but with the sound of my voice they flew open again to fix a tired gaze on my teary one. A flicker of a smile fluttered across his mouth as he recognised me and I thought my heart would explode with relief. He truly was alive. Slowly, he raised himself up and attempted a sitting position.

"Hey, hey, you nearly died in there, lie down again Cas," I said, worry etched into my words. I didn't want him straining himself too much just yet. He just shook his head carefully and finally reached an upright position, calmly waving away my attempts to reach out and help him. I knelt close to him, ready to offer any support he needed, and examined him closely for any signs that he'd been basically dead. Strangely, all I saw was intense fatigue.

He wearily looked at my face again and his head cocked into that all too familiar confused expression – and with that I lapsed into a fresh flood of tears. I thought I'd never see that frustrating expression ever again!

"Why are you crying, Eliana?" Castiel asked me as he reached out a hand to trace a finger down my cheek, following a fresh tear trail. Carefully, as if handling something extremely precious, he brought the damp finger to his face and examined it with a frown. I chuckled, "I thought you were dead! The fire... I tried to reach you... you weren't moving... then you go and damn well wake up!" I threw him a sulky look, but my heart wasn't in it. My heart was too busy excessively thumping and attempting to self-combust inside me.

Castiel raised the frown to me instead, "I do not remember what happened..." He trailed off, deep in thought. "Your father was there and I was in the ring of fire...then nothing. It is intensely frustrating when periods of time are missing."

"You don't remember? My-I mean the demon like, blew up the fire and you got all swallowed up! I plunged in there after you but by the time I reached you, you were completely out. Like I said, for all I knew you were dead." I answered him slowly.

His face transformed into an expression of faint shock as he examined me, "You went into the inferno after me?" He asked, his normally strong voice a strange whisper.

"Of course I did, Cas!" I exclaimed, disbelieving that he would even question that fact. However the shock remained as he shook his head and asked, completely sincerely, "But why?"

"Because..." _Because I love you._ No Eliana, one step at a time. The guy nearly died. He doesn't want professions of love from crazy girls on top of that. "Because it's what friends do for each other, y'know? Save each other no matter the risk?" I gave him a reassuring smile.

He sat there silently for a quick moment, seeming to absorb this information. Then he lowered his gaze to the floor and said, in his usual matter-of-fact-style, "You see, Eliana, I have never had someone freely _and_ willing risk their very life for me before. So I have no previous experience to gain understanding from. I realise... friendship... must be the reason, but I did not realise anyone could experience friendship that strongly towards myself."

I just stared. Then did something completely against Castiel's understanding and threw myself at him to crush him in a bear hug. He needed to feel some serious human compassion right now. I felt his body stiffen, but then he placed both of his palms carefully on my back. I buried my face into his shoulder as I'm sure I heard him whisper, "Thank-you".

"You're welcome." I pulled myself back and asked, "But, how _did_ you survive the flames?"

Castiel replied with a small shake of his head and a frown. This was not much of an answer. Then he reached towards my right arm and held my wrist gently. With a gasp I realised my lower arm had angry red burns all over it from reaching into the fire, and my left arm was identically scarred. Somehow, whether it was the shock or the adrenaline, I was only just beginning to feel a slight sting from them. Castiel narrowed his eyes as if working out a puzzle, then raised his other hand and placed it palm down over my right arm. Closing his eyes he remained like that, I watched his serene face with fascination and worry. After only a few seconds he wearily opened his eyes and looked at me, a faint smile on his face once more. "My powers are slowly returning, Eliana. Look," and I did indeed look back at my arm. It was completely healed. "Give me a few minutes and I shall also heal the other arm," he said, "I just need time to regain some strength."

For the first time, Castiel then looked around at the rest of the room, breaking that feeling that we were in our own bubble away from all the other pain. His gaze took in Dean, helping Sam with a head wound and dislocated shoulder that needed patching up, then moved to rest on my mother crying over my father's body. I shut my eyes; I could not face that yet. Everything was my fault and yet...surely I had no choice?

"Eliana?" Castiel's voice was soft. I opened my eyes to look at him, a silent plea for him to understand hidden within.

"I had no choice Cas, I thought he'd just killed you, I didn't know what to do, he was a demon dammit!" I sadly hung my head, "Just this once, please understand."

"Of course I understand. I am disappointed in myself. I have failed you."

Surprised, I lifted my head to look at him. He met my questioning gaze earnestly, "I was trying to prevent this, Eliana" he stated, "and I have failed. I am sorry."

I shook my head vehemently, "I don't understand Cas! How on earth could you have stopped me, you were practically dead!"

"I understand sweetheart, let me explain." I lifted my head and was surprised to see my mum standing next to me. She slowly knelt on the floor beside us. Her face was pale and her eyes seemed almost blank as she reached out to take my hand in hers. "You see, this is why I left Eliana, all of those years ago. I had a vision...it was this, all of this - you, the demon, me. Then you were killing your own father...I could not let it happen. So I decided to leave and try to find a way to stop it from happening... or at least discover more about demons and ways to exorcise them. My searches did not prove very educational, but at least if I was not with you then I knew that the vision could not come true. As I saw myself, in the vision, I _knew_ those terrible events could not occur without me present. But then Castiel found me and told me all that had happened with you and that the demon had still found you, well it certainly threw me. We decided to handle it ourselves. Castiel allowed himself to be captured, and we hoped we could deal with the demon ourselves without getting you involved Eliana. We both realised that if you were here then the inevitable would happen and you would have to kill your father, as predicted. Of course we did not count on your own visions finding Castiel's whereabouts, or the fact that you loved him enough to find and rescue him." She smiled softly whilst I just blushed, trying to get my head around this story.

"I am sorry, Eliana. I thought that you would not bother to find me, that I was not worthy of it. Even when I told you not to, you still came and found me." I raised my gaze to Castiel and tears threatened again. "Of _course_ you are worthy Castiel! Of course." I smiled at him then flew across the small gap between us to hug him again. I kissed his cheek, wet from my tears, and for the first time since I had known him he did not resist my affection in any way, not even slightly.

After a short time we all stood up, me giving Castiel support to help him. Dean slowly made his way over to us, a weary Sam leaning against him. We'd been through a lot. In time I would grieve for my father and come to terms with the events, but right now was not the time. I could not let it all flood in just yet.

Sam smiled at me as Dean clapped a friendly hand on my shoulder and they both headed out of the room to start the clean up. My mother went back to my father's body, and to give her space I started to follow Sam and Dean outside. To my surprise, Castiel took my hand in his as I began to move. I looked up at him, but he was looking determinedly ahead, his back perfectly straight, head up. With a soft chuckle from me, we walked away, hand in hand.

* * *

**And that, my friends, is end of my first ever fic! Comments? Reviews? Anything will be greatly appreciated as it will help me decide whether to continue writing fics and/ or how to improve! I'm thinking about possibly doing a sequel to this, would that interest anyone...?**

**Anyways... again I apologize SO much for this being unbelievably late! I've had a lot of stuff going on this summer and I have just not been able to get my head into writing until now :'( I hope any readers will forgive me! (:**

**So if you have any opinions on my first fic, PLEASE let me know! I greatly appreciate any feedback and I love knowing what you guys think ;D And its been so much fun writing for you!**


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